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Unhelpful “helpful” people June 9, 2009

Posted by mwidlake in Management, Perceptions.
Tags: ,
11 comments

I keep meaning to getting back to more technical blogs but I need to spend some time sorting it out first, and something has just bugged the hell out of me, so another “wordy” one today.

Richard Foote has gone back to explaining the basics of indexes and the CBO, which if you are new to CBO or indexes, hot-foote {sorry} it over there immediately and check it out. He is a brilliant teacher.

Near the start, he has a link to someone on one of the OTN forums who is stating the Cost Based Optimiser sucks. I won’t repeat the link. No, sod it, I WILL repeat the link. Here it is. It might elevate the page in google’s scoring but what the heck.

This person’s rather poor outlook on the CBO did not bother me, nor the fact that he is, in my opinion, wrong {he suggests using the rule hint on oracle 10, which is an option but is not, in my opinion, a mighty good idea as (a) who now knows the rules of the Rule Based Optimizer and (b) the hint will be ignored if you are using most new features added since 8, such as bitmap indexes or IOTs or partitioning. It might {and I have no proof for this} cause the feature not understood by the RBO to not be used, so maybe ignoring a nice bitmap index or function based index. Oh, and (c), if you have good stats the CBO usually wins.}.

What irritated me was his/her high-handed and abusive posting. That really annoys me. Then I thought “no, we all lose our temper sometimes and the person they are having a pop at did kind of ask for it”. But because I think that being abusive or condescending on forums is such bad behaviour, I dug a little into the other postings by this person.

Some were helpful. Many were simply links back to other pages or to some front end to Google the person’s question. And several, many, were abusive. Along the lines of “Why are you so stupid”; “If you can’t be bothered reading the manual you don’t deserve help”; “I would not employ you as you are a moron”. You get the idea?

It is a big problem with forums, and actually also in the work place (and occasionally, sadly, at meetings and conference). People being condescending, antagonistic and demeaning to others who do not know what they, the Mighty Brain, knows, who seem to Mighty Brain to not be trying quite as hard as they could or are seemingly asking something obvious.

OK, if it is obvious, give the answer. It might be that you, oh Mighty Brain, did not understand the question. OK, they maybe are not trying hard enough. Suggest to them where they could look, maybe this person has 3 managers breathing down their necks and they just really, really want an expert opinion now as they are not sure which of the seven opinions in google to trust. And Mighty Brain, unless you were born with your knowledge placed in your head by God, as a special force on this earth, you didn’t know what this “moron” does not know at one time. Someone told you or, vary rarely, you worked it out for yourself.

The truly, blood-boilingly, unjust thing about Mighty Brain? They are so sure of their own towering knowledge that they can’t see that they are often wrong.  I can’t think of any Oracle Expert who is widely accepted by their peers who is a “Mighty Brain”. In fact, a common trait of the very best practitioners and teachers (of any subject, not just IT) is that they are always willing to admit they do not know and to learn.

I did look for a way to ask for this particular Mighty Brain to be barred from the forum, but then I just decided to vent my spleen on my blog and have a glass of wine.

I hope that person trips over and really cracks their shins or something. Nothing permanent, just something incredibly painful. Grrrrrr.

Update – Jonanthan Lewis has commented to let me know that this “unskilled and unaware” {what a brilliant phrase} is the Dunning-Kruger effect. The link got filtered out by the comment mechanism, so I’ve posted it {well, maybe a similar one} here. Thanks Jonathan.

Fear of Databases May 29, 2009

Posted by mwidlake in Management, Perceptions.
Tags: , ,
4 comments

“It’s all in the database!”

I’m sure most of you (if you are in the UK, I must remember that the web is a world spanning medium) have seen the adverts by the wonderful TV Licencing authority or the DVLA. If not they go something like:

“We keep records” {background music}
“We know if you have paid…or not.” {Music become more sinister}
We will find you, you cannot hide” {more affirmative music}
“It’s all in the database” {doom-laden musical flourish}

OK, maybe I lay it on a bit with the music.

Now, as a database professional, I see “it’s all in the database” as a good thing. With luck it will be a well designed database with referrential integrity and all nicely validated.

Nearly all news media stories about actual or perceived threats to electronic privacy also site “The Database” as the core.
“They {who?} will hold all your web searches in a vast Database”.
” A laptop holding a Database of 1 million double glazing customers has been stolen”. I bet it was actually 10 thousand and in a spreadsheet.

It’s getting to the point where I don’t feel comfortable telling people I meet outside of the IT world that I am a database expert. Databases are hardly ever now seen in a good light, they seem to be linked only to things bad and Orwellian.

The Database is also often cited when companies get things wrong for their customers. You ring up to complain about some aspect of non-service and are often told “Oh, it doesn’t agree with you in the Database” or “the Database has got it wrong”. No it hasn’t, the person putting the information in the database got it wrong. I’ve been in the unusual situation of being told a lie where the database was given as the cause but I had access to that database. So I checked and the database was fine. It was being used as a convenient and much maligned excuse.

Very little is mentioned of the beneficial uses of databases.
For most of us our salary is processed via databases and it is a lot cheaper and more reliable than having half a hundred pay clerks doing it manually in pen and ink.
Databases are used to hold or index much of that vast quantity of stuff that you can search for on the net. Even the useful stuff on Klingons.
I for one would welcome a UK-wide database holding my basic medical details so that when I go to my GP or hospital, they do not need my memory (and in fact my consciousness) to tell them my medical past. If I have an allergy to a common drug I damned well want all medical people to know that before they put 10cc of the stuff into my veins.

And to wrap up my bad-tempered tirad, I now find it particularly tricky to talk about what I still feel is my most significant achievement in IT, namely an 80TB Database of genetic information. Without getting into the topic of Bioethics, which is beyond the scope of this blog, Genetics and a lot of biological stuff is now painted grey, if not deep, murkey, scary Red by the media. I tell John down the pub that I created a huge genetics database, he is sure I am either working on a secret government project to know all about his inner workings or some evil company combining tomatoes and monkeys into some awful, new thing that {and he has seen the movies to prove this} in all likelihood will turn into a zombie killer, escape and do for mankind.

Maybe I’ll just tell people I shoplift for a living, it might be more socially acceptable than being involved in Databases or Genetics.

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