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Conferences and the Etiquette of Meeting New People November 25, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Perceptions.
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One of the reasons I like user group conferences is meeting new people in my “area” – these people at the conference not only like technology and probably some of the same technology I do but, as they are at a conference, are probably inclined to learn stuff, meet people and maybe share ideas. I’m not actually very good face-to-face socially with people I do not know, so I like to tilt things in my favour if I can!

But sometimes you have odd experiences.

I was at a conference a couple of years back that was not in the UK. I was loving it as I was meeting some people I knew electronically but never met and others who I had only met when they visited UK conferences – but most people I had no real connection to, so I was a bit quiet (yes, loud-mouthed, always-comments-in-talks me was quiet), especially as it was the first day. I was late for the lunch event, I don’t remember why, but it was a little unusual for being a sit-down meal and there was to be some meet-the-expert tables and I wanted to be able to identify some people I knew by name and never met. The big signs on tables would be a bit of a help there.

As I came in I saw half the tables were full and most of my friends were already on a full table. I wandered over to a half-full table and as I sat down I said “Hello, I’m Martin Widlake, How you doing?” or whatever to the half-dozen guys there. They all looked at me. A couple nodded or said “hi” but one said “We’ve got other friends turning up soon”. Hmm, that was code for “sod off”, I think.

I turned on the full English Accent so they could tell I was not from around those parts. “That’s nice – always good to have friends when you are at a conference….especially one where you don’t know many people?”. Some smiled, they all understood my mild reprimand. Mr Friendly who had mentioned all his other friends did not smile though. After this opening “chat” no one else really said anything more to me.

The Starter turned up and the guys all spoke to each other – and ignored me. Some other lone gun wandered up and asked me if he could sit next to me – “Sure, feel free – I’m Martin Widlake, I’m from the UK”. He introduced himself and sat down. Mr Friendly piped up “There are more people joining us at this table, I’m not sure there is gonna be room”. Some of his already-present friends had the decency to look a bit apologetic and I simply said “Well, it’s pretty full on all the tables now – and he’s got his starter” as the waitress put down a plate. And I pointedly started talking to the new chap.

Main turns up and so do a couple of late members for Mr Friendly’s group, who sat down at the remaining spare seats. “I told you” he said “you might have to move”.

I’m losing my patience a bit now. “Well they can sit somewhere else I’m sure, seeing as they are late.”

Mr Friendly is getting angry “I warned you when you sat down – when the others turn up, you’ll move”.

“I won’t move, this is my seat. I’m staying here”.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” demands Mr Friendly. Oh, thank you, I think to myself. I’m so going to enjoy this….

“Well, I did introduce myself when I arrived and….” pointing to the large sign with ‘Martin Widlake’ on it above the table “there is a large reminder of my name just there”. I paused a couple of seconds before adding “So this is my seat and my table and I’m kind of obliged to stay here, whether you want to talk to me or not”.

Maybe I could have handled the situation better from the start and stressed that the reason why I was staying was I was supposed to sit at my table. But I was smarting a little from the fact that no one apparently wanted to come to my table and talk to me. Maybe not surprising, as I don’t think I had done a presentation at the conference at that point – but my massive ego was already bruised.

So what about the etiquette of meeting people at conferences? It was just a title for a story I felt like telling…

However, there are a couple of things I do want to mention about the etiquette of meeting people at conferences. If you do not know many people there – just talk to people. People you don’t know. Just make a few observational or open comments, nothing to direct – “This queue for the coffee is a bit long”, “Have you seen any good/bad presentations yet?”, “what do you think about ansii join syntax” (OK, last one is a bad suggestion). Most people will respond and those that do not are probably just very nervous – more nervous than you! – and almost no one will be like Mr Friendly above. And if they are like Mr Friendly, where there are a few hundred other people you can go and try the odd comment on to see if you get a response.

At the social events you can see dozens and dozens of people just at the side or wandering around, not speaking to anyone. If you are one of them, few people are likely to come up to you and start a conversation (I’ve tried approaching the odd lone person but I stopped when I got Seriously Stalked at one of the UKOUG conferences). But if you go talk to other people, most of us will respond. And if someone does respond – Don’t stalk them!!! – have a conversation and then, having found it is possible, go and try some other people. The next day, if you see the people who responded last night, go and have a small chat again. But Don’t stalk them!!!.

Finally, talk to the presenters. We are actually the easy targets and not the hard ones. Those of us who present tend to be attention seekers so we are happy for you to come up and chat. And if you pretend you liked our talks we will certainly warm to you, so it’s an easy opening. However, it’s not like we are pop-stars or TV celebrities, we are just average people and you can come and chat to us (actually, I feel the same about pop-stars and TV celebrities, I don’t get easily star-struck but I know a lot of people do, even over Oracle Names).

But Don’t stalk them!!!.

And if someone insists on joining you at a table that has a name above it – listen carefully when they introduce themselves…

Conference Organisation from the Inside – UKOUG Tech14 November 20, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Meeting notes, Presenting, UKOUG.
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An interesting experience I have had this year is being more involved in helping organise the annual UKOUG Oracle Technical Conference – Tech14. I fully intended to blog about things as we progressed, but it never happened got going so I did not.. But I thought it would be interesting to do a couple of blogs about it now, for anyone interested, as the conference itself approaches.

If you have never helped organise a conference or user group meeting then you probably think there is not a lot of work involved. You would be quite wrong. If you have been a volunteer at one, as in you have presented or chaired sessions, then you will have more understanding – but still probably fall short of the mark in estimating the effort involved. There is a lot involved.

The UKOUG is, I think, the largest Oracle User Group in the world and the annual conference has grown significantly since I first got involved around the turn of the millennium {which is now quite a while back – yes, we are all getting quite old}. In fact, it is now a set of conferences and events dedicated to Oracle E-Business suite, JD Edwards, PeopleSoft, Hyperion and regional conferences for Ireland and Scotland (sorry Wales) as well as the annual technical event that used to be the single conference. This year Tech14 is in the same location as Apps14, which covers most of the application areas I just mentioned. I rather like the fact we are returning to being in the same place but still have two events as it matches the reality of the two groups. There is a lot of cross-over between apps and tech for some of us whereas for many, you belong in one camp or the other. It’s a bit like do you like football or rugby…

So where did I fit into the picture? Each year the UKOUG approach some of it’s volunteers and asks them if they would mind giving them a little bit of help with the conference that year. Any that do not run away quickly are corralled into a room at head office in Wimbledon and bribed them with tea, coffee and biscuits. We are arranged into being the content committees for various areas. I was part of the committee for the Database stream and ended up being the Chair. This does not make me any more significant, it just means if someone has to make a decision when the committee is split or they just want a quick answer to a question (such as “can Dave swap his presentation slot with Senthil’s”), then it will be me the office contacts. OK, I suppose it means I have a little more input but as everything is open, others on the database committee (or others) can cry foul.

There are also committees for Middleware, Development, OS & Engineered systems, Business analytics… I am sure I have forgotten one! In many ways the Database stream is easiest as I do not think it has as broad a remit as, for example, development, and the core database is the core database. But we also have the largest community and thus the largest number of papers put forward and streams to organise.

So What do the committees do? Our responsibility is primarily to agree on the technical content of our steams. ie What presentations go into it, the order of them, plan any threads or themes to run through a day or several days and ensure that at any given time there are talks, roundtables and workshops across a spectrum of topics and not 4 all on backups or ADF. Sounds easy? No, it’s not. I’ll go into why in a later post.

We also help with decisions about wider issues for the conference – when the keynotes occur, who to ask to do the keynotes, the evening events and some wider issues like that. However, the actual location and timing of the event is set in stone before we get involved – it has to be as those major decisions have to be made over a year in advance. Personally, I think the venue at The Liverpool ACC is a good one. I can understand some people feeling Liverpool is a bit far to go but in reality it only takes an hour or two longer to get there than to what was the traditional home of the conference in Birmingham. And frankly, I was tired of Birmingham and the usual pub I ended up in was getting truly ratty and unpleasant. The ACC is at Albert Doc and a lot of bars, restaurants and ,I suspect, nightclubs (for those who like loud music and terrible lager at a premium price) are in the area.

Most of the work planning the actual conference is of course done by the office staff and I know that for smaller user groups all the work is done by volunteers – I’ve done a couple of myself too – so some of you might think we volunteers for the UKOUG conference have it a bit easy. But the conference is massive and we do {most of us} have proper jobs to do too. So if something is not as you would like at the UKOUG conference, or in fact at any conference, it is probably not through lack of effort. Just let us know {nicely, please} and we will try and not make the same mistake next time.

Audio semi-Visual Presentation on Clustering Data in Oracle November 12, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in performance, Presenting, SQL.
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I suppose it had to happen eventually but one of my presentations has ended up on YouTube. It’s a recent presentation I did for the Oracle Midlands user group in September.

The topic is (as the title of this blog post hints at!)Boosting select performance by clustering data. The video consists of the slides I presented, changing as the presentation progresses, with my audio over the top. It goes on for a bit, close to an hour, but you could watch a section and then go and do something else before watching a bit more.

I have to say, it is very odd hearing my voice (and the slight touch of the “brummie” {Birmingham} accent coming through) and I do wince at the places where I blather or say something slightly wrong or make a joke that involved a visual element that is lost. Oh well, at least you don’t see me wandering around and jumping up,literally, to point out bits on the slides.

I’m glad to say I will be repeating a slightly more polished version of the presentation at this year’s UKOUG Tech14 conference in December. I was a bit under the weather back on September the 16th, due to having just returned to the Working Life, and with this perfect example of what I did then I should be able to make the next shot at it a cracker… maybe.

On the topic of Oracle Midlands, I like this user group that is run by Mike Mckay Dirden, the meetings consist of evening presentations in Birmingham with a bit of support from Redgate. This includes half-time samosas to keep you going. The next meeting is described here and is on Tuesday 25th November. This meeting has two presentations by my friend Bjoern Rost, who is an Oracle Ace Director {gasps of appreciation from the audience} and a consummate presenter. I wish I could make it there as I would like to share a pint with Bjoern (well, he’ll have wine or a cocktail I suspect as he is not a beer fan) as well as some of my other friends up that part of the country.

Next Club Oracle London – 12th November 2014 November 10, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Meeting notes.
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The next Club Oracle London is taking this place, on Wednesday 12th November. You can find the details here.

This is a free evening or Oracle talks provided by some of our local experts and beer/snacks provided by e-DBA. The first event was back on the 3rd of July and it was a great evening. The coming event will have presentations by James Anthony, Dominic Giles and Jason Arneil in 12C in-memory database, key facts gleaned from OOW14 and 12C enhancements respectively – all excellent presenters and you get to ask them awkward questions in an open session at the end. Plus free beer and (I think) pizza to keep you going. All you can ask for of a user group meeting.

I have to say, it’s not the easiest event to find out about unless you have managed to get onto the list of people who are interested (ie turned up last time I think). There is another mention actually on e-DBAs LinkedIn page here and my freind Neil Chandler put a quick post about it last week but there is not a lot else out there about it!

I know e-DBA are keen for these events to stand on their own 2 feet and not be seen as just an e-DBA event so they are not pushing it hard themselves – they are happy to just to provide the support – but it seems the message is not getting out to the Oracle community about the events, so spread the work if you are from around these parts. It would be good to see it well attended and continue. I understand they are already looking at who they would like to present next time, so there should be future events.

 

{And I still think they should call it London Oracle Club… }

User Group Meetings Next Week (free training everyone!) July 11, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Exadata, Meeting notes, UKOUG.
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I know, posts about up-coming user group meetings are not exactly exciting, but it’s good to be reminded. You can’t beat a bit of free training, can you?

On Monday 14th I am doing a lightning talk at the 4th Oracle Midlands event. The main reason to come along is to see Jonathan Lewis talk about designing efficient SQL and then he will also do a 10 minute session on Breaking Exadata (to achieve that aim I suggest you just follow the advice of the Oracle Sales teams, that will break Exadata for you pretty efficiently!).

If you are not familiar with the Oracle Midlands events, they are FREE evening events run in Birmingham, just north of the center in Aston, at the Innovation Birmingham centre. See the web site for details and to register. The great thing about them being in the evening is you do not have to take time out from the day job to attend. The disadvantage is they are shorter of course. (And for me personally, I feel morally obliged to pop in on my dear old Mother on the way and listen to her latest crazy theories. I think it’s what Mum’s are for). Samosas were provided last time to keep you going and I know a couple of us will retire to a near-by pub after, to continue discussions.

I’ll be doing just a short talk, along with half a dozen others, my topic being “is the optimizer getting too smart to be understood”.

This is a user group in the truest sense of it, organised pretty much by one chap (Mike Mckay-Dirden) in his spare time, with help from interested people and some financial input from the sponsor Redgate.

I get a day off and then I am at the combined RAC CIA and Database SIG on Wednesday 16th. This UKOUG SIG is probably the other end of the user group experience (as in from an organisational and size perspective). They both fulfill a need and I have no problem being involved in both. In fact, I now notice that Patrick Hurley is going to be at both events too.

The RAC CIA & Database SIG is also free, IF you are a member of the UKOUG. You can also attend if you pay a one-off fee. It’s an all-day event and as it is a combined SIG it is a two-track event. It’s almost a mini-conference! Presenters include myself (doing my intro to Exadata talk, probably for the last time), Julian Dyke, Patrick Hurley, Martin Bach, Neil Chandler, Neil Johnson, Martin Nash (twice!), Ron Ekins, John Jezewski, Alex Evans and David Kurtz. If that is not enough, Owen Ireland is going to give a support update and then we have Mike Appleyard giving a keynote on a brand new 12.1 feature, Oracle Database In-Memory option.

I’d be going along even if I was not presenting or helping run the RAC CIA SIG and I’m retired for goodness sake! (well, sort of, my wife has not ordered me back to the working life yet). And of course, we will no doubt retire to a hostelry after (to count how many Neils and Martins are involved).

I hope to see as many UK people as possible at these two days. As I said at the top, it’s free training, you can’t get better than that.

London Oracle CLub June 30, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Meeting notes.
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Some of you will be aware of the LOB – London Oracle Beers. It is an informal group of us London- based people who work in the Oracle sphere and who also like to have a pint (be it beer, cider, larger or diet coke). We mostly just catch up as friends and talk rubbish and, amongst that, discuss topics related to Oracle technologies. Something we occasionally talk about it whether we should make it a little more formal and have presentations on Oracle topics.

Well, thanks to Jonathan Lewis and with the support of e-DBA, I’m pleased to say that Club Oracle London is born. I wish they had called in London Oracle Club :-).

If you follow the link you will see that it is an evening event in central London, 96-100 Clifton Street, the Workers Educational Association, being held this Thursday 3rd July. The event is FREE. It follows the format of the Oracle Midlands meetings that started recently, where there are a couple of talks provided by experts, some refreshments in the middle and the chance to meet up with like-minded Oracle professionals in your areas.

This first London Oracle Club will have presentations by Jonathan Lewis on upgrading, Jason Arneil on upgrading to 12C and Dominic Giles/James Anthony on using tools to upgrade, like Swingbench (which Dom wrote and most of us will recognise as the workload generator used by soooo many demonstrations of RAC) and SLOB. You would be correct to detect the running theme of upgrades.

You need to register for the event (see the link above) and I have no idea how many spaces are left, but with that set of presenters I already know half a dozen people intending to go along, including myself. Weeeellll, I have to go along to make sure Jonathan gets what he says correct…. ;-)

I’m looking forward to this initiative, I strongly support user groups of all formats. One of the best ways we learn is to teach each other.

I hope to see some of you there. And for those living no where near London or the UK, ask yourself if a little local user group could work where you are? If you keep it simple and use local (or visiting) talent, what is to stop you?

Time to wake up April 1, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Meeting notes, Private Life, UKOUG, Uncategorized.
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This post is nothing more than a line in the sand, really.

After my post on “retiring” in November last year and then the one about working to network, as opposed to working to network just prior to 2013 year end, I have been very, very quiet. Well, I had things outside of Oracle and IT to do and they were more important to me. I’d say I have made a reasonable stab at them. My wife would say I have been a lazy and good-for-nothing so-and-so. If you do not know me, trust my wife. If you do know me, you already know to trust my wife :-) .

I do need to nod my head at a few friends who got in touch when it all went quite after my retirement post and privately checked I was not dying. I’m not, I’m fine, and I was touched by the concern. I do seem to be currently surrounded by people who have died or are dying, but so far no one I married, lived with, am related by blood to or bought (The CAT, you strange people – but she is old and was “odd” last month, I did think for a while it was white-coat time) has hit that particular end-point, but has become a constant background concern. Hmm, sometimes foreground, but still part of the benefit of not working is being able to be there when others need.

However, in my state of not-working, I did a rare check on the calendar this week and saw that 1st April 2014 was approaching – and that is my line in the sand. I had to make a break from working in London (or, rather, commuting in and out of London) and also sort a few non-IT things out in my real life, which I think I have. So I am entering the weird world of Oracle IT once more. Last week I went to the second Oracle Midlands user group meeting and it was very, very good. If you are within 100 miles of Birmingham, google it and get along. The next meeting is 20th May and Christian Antognini is doing a double-header presentation and you will benefit from being there.

The next day I was in a meeting in London about organising the next UKOUG tech conference. This year it will be in Liverpool and a week later than normal. That might sound negative (way out THERE and THAT late?) but the venue is just right for the conference. There is more to do around that area of Liverpool than last year in Manchester or ineed there was for so many comfortable years in central Birmingham {I did start to drift more to locations in central Brum these last 3 or 4 years but it was a real effort to get people to go with me} and a lot of effort is going in to looking at the feedback from prior events to improve this net event in 2014. I am determined to get some of that feedback through. Though I would say that seeing as I am involved :-). I’ll mention some more details later this week or next week, depending on how my non-Oracle life taking it’s demands.

Tomorrow (today?) I am at the next UKOUG AIM SIG – it needs a better title – but it is the old RAC-HA SIG conjoined with my SIG that was about managing Oracle in large, complex or demanding environments, called the AIM SIG – but as it had the word “management” in it, so it scared many IT people away (it was more about *coping* with corporate management than being *about* corporate management). Anyway, we need to re-title it so you buggers realise it is actually a technical SIG aimed at helping us look at at and handle cluster issues and massive-system issues. Yes, it need to be two SIGs again, but the UKOUG is struggling with that, partly as your companies stopped letting you lot come to these meetings. I despair of large corporations, I really do… :-)

So that was a load of fluff about me coming back to the user-based fold and playing a role. I do intend to do some technical posts too, but that take a lot of effort. I have some half written but as I have lost access to the systems I did the real work on {hmmm, some I can still access but, legally, I should not even be TRYing} that make it less-than-easy for me to demonstrate my points with real-world but obfuscated examples. Recreating those examples on play systems is NOT a piece of play-time.

Which leads me on to one odd point I am sure I will come back to:

I’m “retired”.
I do not need to earn.
Do you have an interesting performance/architecture issue with Oracle you are stumped with?
I won’t work for free (after all, some people pay the bills doing this stuff and I DO need to earn enough to go and present/teach and the garden needs my free time). But I am kind of an easy mark at the moment.

Anyway, April 1st and I need to be in Reading for the next AIM SIG so I better finish this off.

So finally….

It’s (worryingly) good to be back.

Martin W

A loss from the UK User Community – Graham Gilbert July 17, 2013

Posted by mwidlake in Perceptions, Private Life, UKOUG.
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Last week, as part of organising the AIM and Database Server joint UKOUG SIG tomorrow {which I should have blogged about but just never got around to}, I was made aware of the fact that a man called Graham Gilbert died back in April.

Anyone who has anything to do with the RDBMS parts of the UK Oracle User Group probably knows Graham as he ran the RDBMS SIG for years and years and years. For the rest of you, you missed out as Graham was a Jewel. I can’t say he was a close friend, after all I was not aware he had died, but I was saddened by it – and that is unusual as I am particularly sanguine (callous?) when if comes to death. {For example, on hearing about the death of my own father, who I did actually like and get on with, my immediate and on-going response was “damn, that’s inconvenient”}.

I was saddened as Graham was one of those rare beasts – a person who helped, encouraged and supported people. Everyone who met him seems to have liked him. {If you DID meet him and not like him – I don’t want to talk to you, OK?!} In fact, when I got the first hint of Graham having died, I got in touch with some mutual friends and asked if they had heard anything. The response was a consistent “No – but let me know as Graham … (various citations about how he had encouraged, helped or been kind to them)” followed.

You can see this if you look at {and I really hope this works} this section in the UKOUG 50th Anniversary edition. I could not put better what Patrick Hurley said about Graham gently encouraging people to be part of the community.

As I have said, I did not know Graham well, but I did share a few pints with him after RDBMS SIGs on a couple of occasions. On one such occasion we were discussing the fact that he had run the RDBMS SIG for so long – I was thinking of stepping down from the SIG I was running but no one was showing signs of stepping up if I did. Graham gave a gentle sigh and observed that “many people would like to help – but the day job or the effort or a lack of confidence gets in the way. You just have to encourage them.” So why had he been the RDBMS SIG chair for so long? “Well, I would rather not, but it just seems to fall to me. It needs doing and it is not really a burden, I just don’t want to be seen as making it my empire. I can ask people to present but not take on the whole thing!”. My quotes will be inaccurate but that was the gist of it. He encouraged people to advance themselves or take part but seemed reluctant to burden anyone. I wonder now if he ended up running it for so long as he was just so damned good at it and we wanted to keep him? I bought him a pint (I nearly had to argue with him on that one) as he was being so nice to me and encouraged me to keep doing my SIG so long as punters turned up.

Graham, for me, epitomises the User Group mentality. We help one another and we do it as we want to, well, help each other. I’ve met a fair few ….arseholes… who do user group stuff for the CV or to get recognition or some other personal gain. You can quickly spot them as they want the label but do very little for it, or do loads for 6 months and then drop out the picture when they realise it is not giving them that immediate reward they wanted. I don’t like those people, it’s like people who do stuff for charity and then thrust it down your throat. They did it for themselves, not the recipient. Thankfully I know many people who do the user group stuff because they “just want to help” and many of them never present (as presenting is not their thing) or blog or crow. They just help. I must try and be more appreciative of them.

Well, Graham did his bit quietly and consistently for years and years, because he wanted to help. He helped a lot of us. A round of drinks will be bought tomorrow after the SIG in his honour. It’s the least we can do – and I mean the least.

Friday Philosophy: It’s Not What you Know – It’s What you are Getting To Know. December 7, 2012

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, Meeting notes, Perceptions.
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This has been a good but tiring week. It started with the UKOUG TEBS conference where I saw lots of people I know, a few who I didn’t but now do and I had good times in pubs and restaurants. One evening culminated in my singing part of “Two out of Three ain’t bad” in the style of a munchkin with Nial Litchfield in a pub at 1am, which I am sure he woud rather forget about – so if you know him, ask him about it. For me that was the indicator to go lie down in the dark and sleep. Irrespectve of drunken singing, I must had talked about 20 topics with 40 people over the conference, exchanging ideas, tricks and war stories.

I also presented on the Sunday, teaching people. I went to many fine presentations through the week and learnt stuff, balancing the knowledge books. This included one talk on Wednesday where I found out I had been teaching people wrong on Sunday! *sigh* Oh dear. And it is something I have been getting wrong for years. I’ll check the fine detail before I blog about that though. I now hate SQL Maria for pointing out my error – which is unfair but that’s life. Sorry Maria, I’ll buy you a beer sometime to make up for it.

After all that, I came back to work to find we had some big issues with one system. I won’t go into the details but there were half a dozen of us working on it, coming up with ideas, knocking each other’s suggestions down or agreeing with them – and coming up with working solutions. None of us could have done it alone and I reckon most of us learnt a couple of things in the process (such as how bad some of the app design was :-) ).

So all in all, a week of learning that has worn me out but left me happy and that is what I like about my work life at present. I am working with people who know stuff and who want to know stuff. I am in a role that exposes me to a lot of issues. I am working for a boss (and team) who let me take time out from the official job to learn stuff too. I suspect it is going to end soon though as the company I am working for are taking large numbers of people to the carpark and shooting them (figuratively speaking only, I should point out). It will be a shame if it does end. But then, just as when I worked with the best IT person I ever worked with, I’ll be happy I had the experience.

Yes, I know I am lucky to have such a good working life at present {but, you know something? I did take efforts to make it like this – maybe a future FF on that}.

So having said I like my working life so much, who is willing to bet I’ll be complaining like a spoilt child all next week?!?

Why Present (UKOUG TEBS 2012) November 27, 2012

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, Presenting.
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The annual UK Oracle User Group Technical and E-Business Suite conference is fast approaching and rather than just say “hey everyone, I’m going to present at a conference” I thought I would say why I present at conferences (and SIGs (and any opportunity I get) ).

The UKOUG TEBS conference is the one that is, in my eyes, the UKOUG conference. It covers E-business suite and the core database stuff – DBA-type things and developer-type things. The things I am interested in. You can see the details and agenda via this link. If you would like to see someone else’s view of this year’s conference, from a delegate’s perspective, check out this post by my friend Big Dave Roberts. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ve personally got more out of the UKOUG TEBS conference than when I have been lucky enough to go to Oracle Open World. For me, I want to see user stories and opinions as well as the Oracle company line – and user groups give far more of that. UKOUG is the biggest and most encompassing of the European conferences, but check out and attend your local user groups if you are not based in the UK (or are in Scotland) – I’ve been to a couple now and all have been good.
{Oh, I should add, I am not presenting at the main TEBS conference, for the first time that I’ve made it there in…10 years! I’m presenting on the OakTable Sunday. I get to fully enjoy the whole 3 days of TEBS this year, as a normal punter!}

So why do I present?

First up, I am lucky that presenting does not scare me. Oh, I get nervous before I start and I worry about my material and doing a decent job of it, but I never feel sick or faint before starting(*). I’ve got some good friends who know as much or more about database technology than I and, in a social situation, they will let fourth with eloquence and passion about some topic. Usually in a pub. But the idea of formally presenting fills them with the heebie-jeebies if not the screaming abdabs. Or, when they get up to talk, they morph from erudite and eloquent {ie they speak clearly, concisely and interestingly) into stuttering, uncomfortable rabbits caught in the lights. And they quickly drop back from it. It’s a real shame as they have a lot to say. Actually, it is a blessing as it leaves space open for me :-)

Secondly, I want to be noticed. There, I’ve said it. I’m pretty sure that 75%+ of the regular speakers at conference want to be noticed and that is a factor in why we do it. Oh, of course, we can wrap it up as “marketing your skills” or “maintaining a presences” but that’s fluff. We want you to see us talk and we want you to like what you see. Well, not the physical aspect of it, that would be weird, but we want you to either think we know what we are talking about or enjoy listening to us prattle on. We want to be appreciated. That’s not so noble, huh? But true.

As a sub-topic to “I want to be noticed” let’s deal with getting work. For me personally, speaking has never got me a job. Asking around friends and contacts most people are the same in that Presenting does not get most of us any work. Maybe it’s a factor when I get interviewed but no one has once come up to me after a talk and said “can you come to our site and be paid a vast sum of money to solve this problem”. I’d love you to be the first, though…

Third, and this may seem noble – or corny or self-worthy – but I talk because I want to teach. I want you to have in your head the knowledge I have in mine, preferably with less pain and anguish than it took me to get it in mine. I love teaching people stuff. It is a common trait to the OakTable network. We teach and we demonstrate why we think what we think. Usually. I can’t decide if I prefer making something that is broken work or teaching people more. Those two are why I do what I do. Frankly I gave up on making a “significant difference” years ago, I’ll stick to making lots of insignificant differences.

Fourth, I get to meet people. It’s taken a while as, except in small groups, I am not great at being sociable. That might seem odd given I said I like to be noticed, but I don’t like to be noticed as a fool and for reasons I will side-step, I’m not too great at judging how I am coming across. Plus I cannot remember names or faces, which is tricky sometimes. Actually, a lot of actors are not “social people”, for some they act because they can’t “do” people. Anyway, presenting has opened doors to me by meeting other presenters who know their stuff, non-presenters who know their stuff and, generally, people. Most of whom have been nice.

Fifth, and this is quite rare. I get asked. If you ask me to present the chances are I will say “ohh, yes please!!!!” We are back to my second point about being noticed, aren’t we? Caveat. If you ask me to present and you live thousands of miles from the UK, as I have no employer to fund my demands for limousines and four-star hotels, I might have to say no. Unless you buy me a LOT of beer.

That is why I present. You probably now expect me to say something to encourage you to present but, mehh, if you want to, just do it. If you don’t, don’t do it. It’s not for everyone. Except you over there. Yes, you know who you are. You need to present more. :-)

(*) I confess, when I do a talk that is aiming to be funny, I get very nervous. When I do my “disasters” talk I can get very nervous as the whole idea is that people will be amused. If I get the feel of the talk wrong I can look preachy or obnoxious or bitter or daft or all four and more. But it is still the talk I most enjoy giving.

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