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Extra session at OUG Ireland – Oracle Lego. March 12, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in database design, development, Presenting.
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I’m now doing a second session at OUG Ireland 2015. {This is because one of the accepted speakers had to drop out – it sometimes happens that, despite your best intentions, you can’t make the conference and it is better to let them know as soon as you can, as they did}. This will be a talk called “Oracle Lego” and it is one I put together a couple of years ago when I decided to try and do more introductory talks – talks aimed at those who are not {yet} experts and who I think tend to get ignored by most conference and user group agenda. So it is aimed at those new to oracle or experts in other areas who have never really touched on the subject.

“Oracle Lego” is about the basics of database design. I have a personal soap box I occasionally get on that very little real database design seems to occur these days. There are exceptions, but often the database design seems to be a quick brain-dump of what the developers or business analysts know they need to store information about and the first-cut set of tables gets created – and then endlessly modified as the development rolls on.

Guess what, we don’t build houses, cars, ships, bridges or garden sheds like that – and there is a reason. If you build things piecemeal as you go along and with bits you either have to hand or have to quickly get, you end up with a pretty poor shed. In fact you don’t end up with a shed, you end up with a shack. With a leaking roof and a door that hits the potting table when you open it. I don’t want a shack and I never, ever want to go over a bridge or sail in a ship built “on the hoof” like that!

Further, just as with a proper architectural or engineering design, a database design does not fix the solution in stone, there is still scope for modification. A bespoke house plan gets tweaked and modified as you do the build and you realise what can be improved when you see it – but you do not suddenly decide to dig out a basement and change from wood walls to stone when you have already constructed the ground floor! I’ve seen database “designs” like this.

There is also more to doing a database design than coming up with tables that hold the records we want to store: We might want to consider if storing similar things in the same table could be better than a table for each “type” of something; How we index those tables and relate them together can have a huge impact on how easy it is to get the data out and store it in the first place; The expected volume and life cycle of the data may require us to consider eg archiving; The very-much-ignored aspect of physical placement of data and clustering of data.

You can spend weeks dedicated to learning about database design – but you can also learn a lot in 60 minutes, ie the basics. And it really is like Lego – once you know the basics you can build up a really complex design. And you learn stuff doing it (and turning it into a real system), just like you do the first time you build a Lego robot (or dog or house or car or bridge or spaceship or whatever). So the second time you build your Lego robot you use the same design basics and layer on top what you learnt last time.

So that is the aim of this talk, the basics of database design.

The strange thing is, last time I did this talk I asked the audience how much database design they did. Every single one of them was already an experienced and capable database designer! So why had they come to this intro talk? They had three reasons:

  1. It was the only talk on database design at the conference, and one more than they were used to getting.
  2. They had picked up their database design skills on-the-job and thought a “reminder” of the basics would be good.
  3. It was cold outside and all the other talks appealed less.

So, this time I am hoping some of the audience is new to database design and I get to teach them great stuff they did not know. If it is all experts again, I think I’ll have to retire this particular intro talk, at least for conferences.

As you can see from the agenda grid here, I’ll be talking at 10:15. You can’t link to an abstract of the talk yet, that just needs to be twiddled into place.

Update – Peter Scott stopped by this blog and it prompted a thought. He felt it was too much at a tangent to add as a comment but I felt it was a very valid and valuable point – so check it out over here on his blog.

BTW Pete has started blogging more, on his thoughts and opinions on Data Warehousing. Personally I think it is worth catching them.

{Oh, and in case any lawyers stop by, “Lego” is of course the copyright name of a popular plastic construction toy, made by the Danish company The Lego Group, that children love playing with and adults hate walking on in bare feet. Did anyone not know that?!?! I have no link to The Lego Group and no plastic bricks will form part of my talk.}

Useful list of Oracle Conferences and Call For Papers March 9, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Tech15.
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Do you want to know what Oracle conferences are run, where they are and when? Do you present (or are thinking of presenting) and want to know when the call for papers is open?

Then go and look at Jan Karremans’ excellent page on oracle conferences.

It lists most (all?) of the European and US conferences and is a really useful reference – I’ve not come across a similar, maintained list. The below is a static screen shot of part of the list, current of today – but visit the page to see the full, maintained list.

Jan's conference list

If you spot that a conference you know about (or are helping organise!) is missing, then Jan is happy to be contacted via the page and he will add the details.

Friday Philosophy – Do Average to Be a Success March 6, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, humour, Perceptions.
Tags: , , ,
22 comments

A few days ago a friend of mine, helifromfinland, tweeted something that exactly matched the topic that I was thinking of doing my next Friday Philosophy on. Heli said:

I am learning to do things well enough, not always perfect. Even writing that sentence feels so wrong but #babysteps :-D

That made me smile – I know the feeling myself and I know some people for whom it is all-consuming. It is something that I suspect many people who are active in the oracle community struggle with. We all try and do the best we can at all we do.

In our jobs in I.T what is needed most often is not the perfect solution – or even the best solution we can come up with. It is:

The best solution that achieves the requirement within the timeframe allowed.

I think I was lucky in that the principle of “good enough” was explained to me fairly early on – and in an environment where “good enough” is not usually the prescribed wisdom.

I was at college doing my degree. In academia or school you are usually encouraged to strive for perfection, in the aim of doing the best you can. It seems to me that they don’t teach you what the real world wants. I can’t remember the exact details (it’s almost 3 decades ago!) but I was trying to finish a written assignment in genetics and it was deadline day. I hunted down the professor who had assigned the task and asked if I could have a few more days as I wanted to check up some of the latest papers on it in the library {I know, what a terrible swot {definition – see item two here!} I was}. He did not say no, he did not say yes. Instead he took me into his office and asked me a few questions about the topic and what I had written so far. I think he was checking I had done something rather than was just covering up being lazy. He then asked me what the purpose of the assignment was.

???

I started explaining the topic again but he cut me short. It took him a few attempts I think to get to where he was directing me, which was that it was a task to be completed in a time frame, to show I understood the topic. I was not doing original research, I was not trying to prove anything. It was Just A Task. The Prof then explained to me that his wife was not an academic but worked in industry. She had tasks to do in set time frames and others relied on her doing those tasks on time. She had more work to do than she could easily cope with. The Prof asked me “Should she keep asking for more time do them? Should she only do a few tasks to the best of her ability or most of her tasks to a level that everyone was happy with?” I got his point, but surely in academia the aim is always “as good as you can?”. He felt not and I think he was vexed {meaning, “really pissed off”} that many academics see it that way. There are times you need to do the very best you can; to spend the time to prove your theory; to cover off all the alternatives or caveats to your point; to get the lab result that clearly corroborates your point. But most of the time, you are doing tasks. Stop dithering and do them. It’s more pointed in the commercial world but the academic world is fundamentally the same.

I think he left it to me to decide if I was going to hand the assignment in late or not but I can’t remember what I did (I’ve got my notes from back then, I can probably find out! But I’ve decided this post does not need that level of perfection… :-) ).

I think we can all agree that, especially in a work environment where others are dependent on us doing our bit in a timely manner, it is better to do an acceptable job on time than constantly overrun. It is also better to get most {aiming unrealistically for “all”} of your work done rather than failing to do tasks that then impact on others. Of course, what is acceptable is all relative and there is a time/achievement cost-benefit-analysis in moving up the poor-acceptable-good-excellent-perfect spectrum.

Maybe what defines your skill in a role is how far up the poor-acceptable-good-excellent-perfect spectrum you hit on a regular basis.

The problem is that, for some of us, we are like Heli and we absolutely, totally and utterly want to do a very good job on everything we do. This is an idea that our parents, teachers and society do press upon us in our formative years, after all.

Of course, your employer will want you to do six impossible things this morning but most are happy with 4 good things this morning and would prefer that over 2 excellent things by the end of the day and 4 undone.

I can’t say I’ve always stuck to the principal of limiting a task to the effort or time it deserves – I have a natural tendency to try and do too good{no, complete is a better way to put it} a job or else I go the opposite and don’t do the task justice {or even at all!}, so I really empathise with Heli’s tweet. When I first became a contractor I struggled with doing enough average work to keep the client happy, I was just spending too much time on doing the best I could at one or two tasks. In reality, they just wanted lots of stuff done competently. So my Prof had failed to instill the right attitude in me!

One of the nuances of “good enough”, and my point about getting {nearly} all your work done, is that it is almost an impossible thing to achieve. If you get all your tasks done, what happens? Yes, more work comes your way. Especially as our working society has gone in exactly the opposite direction to both what many predicted in the 50’s, 60’s & 70’s and also against what we, the workers, would want. The plan was we would all be working, but working fewer hours and days for similar pay. But as most of us can testify, we seem to be asked to do more and more. It’s a topic for a different day but, basically, we are all screwed by the desire by our employers to get more out of each one of us to maximise profit – more work done by the same number or less people is reducing staff pay in relation to output. The reward for getting all your work done on time is more work will be allocated to you.

Another nuance is one I know I have gone on about before. If you do a job, especially an unpleasant or hard job, very well – what is your reward? You get to do the job for ever. Or you get the next horrible, hard job to do. The reward for exceeding expectations is to set the bar that people will want you to hit ever higher and higher and higher

But you do want some recognition and some promotions.

So, for goodness sake, do just an acceptable-good job of a slightly-more-than-is-reasonable number of tasks and don’t do the next horrible job you are handed beyond expectation. And if you forget yourself and go and do the horrible task well, remember to make an utter mess of the next one – you must stop that expectation bar rising!

The final nuance is perhaps the hardest one, and the one I still struggle with despite someone explaining it to me almost 30 years ago. Some tasks really do need to be at the brilliant end of the spectrum and some are fine at being at the average or even poor end. If your role is as a DBA, your backup/recovery protocols need to be towards the brilliant. You may hope to never need to do disaster recovery but one day you will and if it goes wrong, expect to be fired. However, tuning a batch report to run in under an hour? Usually, you are asked for an ideal run time that the business does not need. Under 2 hours is enough and you have a SHED load of other tasks. No one needs the report in under a minute. You should do an average job, even if your soul dies a little in doing so.

As I mentioned above, as a contractor I initially struggled at times to do lots-of-average-work. As a consultant the requirements and expectations are a little different. You are expected to do excellent, come up with something the regular team has not. It’s nice if it is achieved quickly but heck, hard takes time :-). Average (ie what the regular team would come up with) is NOT acceptable (*NB Not always true). I personally find that the consultant paradigm suits me more, my character and working method is more suited to a slower, more considered approach. I really need to get to be a proper consultant…

So the take home message on how to get on in the working world is:

Be just above average at tasks.

Do 80% of your work but back pedal if you hit 90%.

If you accidentally do a magnificent job, mess up the next one.

Occasionally, only occasionally, let rip and blow them all away with your brilliance.

And please let me know how the above works out for you :-)

***

Quick update – a recent xkcd panel that makes the point well :-)

Creating UKOUG Tech15 – The View from the Inside March 3, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Tech15, UKOUG.
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….Who plans the content of Tech15>
……Tips on submitting and abstract>

At the end of last week I was contacted by the UKOUG who asked me if I would agree to be on the planning committee for the annual technical conference this year – Tech15. Not only that but I was privileged to be asked to repeat my role from Tech14 and be the Lead for the Database area. I am of course happy to do so.

UKOUG_Tech15 Banner
Why do I mention this? Well, this year I intend to share what is involved in helping to organise the content for an event like this, to give a view from the inside. This will mostly be by postings to my blog but also on twitter (@mdwidlake – see the little “twittering” section on the right margin of this page).

Most of the logistical work required to run the conference is done by the team at UKOUG. The UK Oracle user group is large enough that it has a small, dedicated team of paid staff – it needs to, pure voluntary efforts by people with day jobs simply could not run something that is the size of a small company. The office team, helped by the board-level volunteers like Debra Lilley and Fiona Martin, decide on and book the venue (I’m pleased to say that 2015 we are returning to the ICC in Birmingham after 2 years “holiday” in Manchester and Liverpool, and will be on the 7th-9th December – see the Tech15 announcement here) and deal with the hundreds of issues there, including catering. They of course run the registration system, the negotiations with sponsors and vendors wishing to participate, promotion of the event and all the other tasks that go with running any conference, be it I.T., politics, businesses or science fiction. We volunteers do not get involved with any of that, the office staff are highly proficient at such things. Also, that side of it is probably not of much interest to you lot so I won’t say much about it. I’ve helped with the logistical side for smaller events (Tech & Life Science conferences and, yes, a science fiction convention) and most of it is dull and very job-like.

We volunteers do the part that the office staff would struggle with, which is decide on the content. I’ll describe the process in a later blog or blogs but as we volunteers work with the technology we know the subject matter, what is current and coming and, between us what the audience is likely to be interested in. We also have input into decisions about how content is delivered and the things that surround it – the social events, the timing of the talks, any pre-event activities. Basically, aspects that will impact the attendee enjoyment are generally passed by us.

That is the part I’ll mostly try and share with you as we go through the process. For now, I’ll just mention that my friend Anthony Macey did this nice piece about being a volunteer for Tech 2014

Usually when I blog it is very obviously my opinion and no one else’s. I don’t feel the need to have that usual weaselly disclaimer to absolve others of any association with what I say. However, for postings about preparing UKOUG Tech15 I will be in some ways talking about the efforts and actions of others and could be seen as representing the UKOUG. I am not – all opinions and errors should be heaped on my shoulders alone. I did take the step of asking the UKOUG if they were happy for me to run this series of blogs and if they wanted oversight of the postings – they were good enough to say that they were happy for me to do it and that they would not require oversight. So I have their blessing but am a free agent.

If anyone has any questions about the conference and how it is organised, please feel free to get in touch. I can’t answer questions on everything, but if there is some aspect of how it is organised that your are curious about then please ask (so long as it is notwhy did my talk on blargh get turned down“).

Friday Philosophy – The Problem of Positive Discrimination? February 27, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, Management, Perceptions.
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18 comments

Have you ever (or are you currently) working in an organisation with any Positive Discrimination policies? Where, for example, there is a stated aim to have 25% of the board as female or 30% of the workforce from ethnic groups that are not of the majority ethnic group in your geographic location? How do you feel about that? Is positive discrimination a good thing or a bad thing? I can’t decide.

{Big Caveat! Before anyone wants to give me the same sort of hassle as a tiny few did recently over a related post, note that I am just wondering aloud and whilst I encourage comments and feedback, I reserve the right to block or delete any comments that I feel are abusive or discriminatory or simply from the unhinged. Just saying. Also I am mostly going to reference women as the aim for positive discrimination, as the blog got really untidy when I swapped between different types of discrimination. I apologise if anyone is offended by that – it is not intended.}

I don’t think I’ve ever been comfortable with the concept of positive discrimination and if I wind back the clock to my early 20’s, back then I was quite angrily dead set against it – on the grounds that it is still discrimination. It seemed to me then that it was a simple yin/yang concept. If discrimination is wrong, it’s wrong and “positive” discrimination is in fact just discrimination against the majority. Wrong is wrong. Stealing is wrong, be it from the poor or the rich or from organisations. All those post-it notes I’ve stolen over the years? Bad Martin.

So what has changed about my opinion? Well, I think that as we all get older we tend to be able to better consider the wider picture and less black/white about most of our philosophies {my personal opinion is that those who don’t modify their opinions in light of more experience and greater thought are, well, not maturing}. I can’t but accept that the business/IT work place as a whole is male-dominated and is riddled with sexism. This does not mean *at all* that all or even most men in business/IT are sexist, but the statistics, studies and countless personal experiences make it clear that the pay, success and respect of women are impacted.
A way to counteract that is to encourage more women to work in IT (or science or whichever area they are under-represented in) and show that they are just as effective in senior positions by tipping the balance in their favor. Positive discrimination is one way of doing that. Is the small evil of this type of discrimination acceptable if it first counteracts and then helps overturn and melt the large evil of the massive inequalities we currently have? Once equality is there (or you are at least approaching it) you drop the little evil of positive discrimination? But how else do you balance the books until the issue has been addressed? My own perception is that sexism and racism at least are reduced from what they were when I first started working, maybe positive discrimination is a significant factor in that? Maybe it is more that society has shifted?

Part of me likes the Women In Technology {try search on hashtag #WIT but you get loads of things that are labelled as “witty” as well} events and discussions such as supported in the Oracle sphere by Kellyn PotVin-Gorman and Debra Lilley amongst others. I much prefer to have a balanced workforce. But when I’ve been to a talk about it or seen online discussions, there often seems to be an element of “we hate men” or “all men are out to put us down” that, frankly, insults me. In fairness I’ve also seen that element questioned or stopped by the female moderators so I know they are aware of the problem of Men Bashing. After all, for reasons I have gone into in a prior post, as a small man I empathise with some of their issues – so to be told all men are the problem is both personally an affront and also… Yes, it’s discrimination. I should not have to feel I need to justify my own non-sexism but I do – My work, hiring and promoting history demonstrates I treat both sexes as equal. If I think you are rubbish at your job, it has nothing to do with how many X chromosomes you have.

I mentioned above “the little evil of positive discrimination” and that is certainly how I see it. I think of it as wrong not just because of the yin/yang simplistic take on right and wrong but because positive discrimination can have negative effects. Forcing a percentage of the workforce or management to be from a specified group means you are potentially not hiring the best candidates or putting the less capable into those positions. If your workforce is 10% female, not at all unusual in IT, then it is unlikely the best candidates for management are 25% female. They might be, it might be that 40% of them are female as they have managed to demonstrate their capabilities and stick with the industry despite any extra challenges faced. But to have a false percentage strikes me as problematic. Another issue is that of perceived unfair advantage or protection. How would any of us feel if we did not get a job or position as someone else got it on the basis of their sex, colour or disability to fulfill a quota? People are often bad tempered enough when they fail to get what they want. Over all, I think positive discrimination leads to a level of unease or resentment in the larger group not being aided. NOTE – I mean on average. I do not mean that everyone (or even most) feels resentment. And those who do vary in how much each individual feels upset by it.

I know a few people, including myself, who have hit big problems when disciplining or even sacking someone who is not a white male. I’ve had HR say to me “we are going to have to be very careful with this as they are {not-white-male}”. I asked the direct question of would this be easier if the person was a white male? – And they said, frankly, yes. It’s hard not to let that get your back up. I’ve seen this make someone I felt was pretty liberal and balanced become quite bigoted. That is positive discrimination being a little evil and having exactly the opposite effect as intended. That HR department was, in my opinion, getting it wrong – but I’ve heard so many similar stories that I feel it is the same in most HR departments across the UK, US and maybe Europe too. I can’t speak about other places.

I know a few women who are also very uncomfortable with positive discrimination as it makes them feel that either they got something not on the basis of their own abilities or others see it that way from looking in.

I’ve occasionally seen the disparity in numbers seen as a positive – I knew a lady at college who loved the fact she was only one of 3 women out of just over a hundred people in her year doing a degree in Computer Science. I was chatting to her {at a Sci-fi society evening, where she was also markedly out-numbered by the opposite sex} about how it must be daunting. She laughed at me in scorn – It was great! She said she stuck out and so got better responses when she asked questions in lectures, she had no trouble getting help off the over-worked tutors as they were keen to be seen to not be discriminatory and, as you mostly “met people” via your course or your societies, she pretty much had her pick of a hundred+ men. That told me.

So all in all, I still do not know if I am for or against positive discrimination. I guess I just wish it was not necessary. If there really was no discrimination, we would not question how many female, black, asian, disabled, short, fat, ginger, protestant people there were doing whatever we do.

{sorry for the lack of humour this week, I just struggled to squeeze it into such a delicate topic}

Return of the Disasters – OUG Ireland 2015 February 23, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Presenting.
Tags: , ,
3 comments

In just under a month I’ll be off to Dublin for the 2015 OUG Ireland conference. It takes place on Thursday the 19th of March. I’m doing my favorite presentation to present, on I.T. disasters I have witnessed and what you can learn from them (so now the title of this blog makes sense and maybe is not as exciting as it suggested). It is also the talk I get most nervous about doing. I tend to put a bit of humour into any presentation I do but if it is predominantly a technical talk, it’s fine if the humour falls flat. When I am intending to be entertaining, as I do with this one, there is more at stake!

not_the_best_thing_to_drop

Back in the mid-2000’s I used to do this talk once or twice a year but these days it tends not to get accepted for conferences. I suspect it is partly as I had done it a good few times and partly as it is hard to place it under the categories Oracle Technical conferences have. Is it technical? Is it project management? Is it entertainment? It is actually a bit of all of them. They are all true stories and each one highlights how we should not do things, be it some of the pitfalls of project management or where disaster tolerant hardware turned out not to be.

I’ve mentioned this presentation a couple of times in my blog. Once early on in 2009 when no one came by here very often, where I go into why I toned down the talk {concern over impact on my career/perceived professionalism} for a while and the impact of that decision {a bland and rather poor talk}. It crops up again in a post in 2013, which I think is the last time I gave this talk. I am not sure I did a very good job of it then either, as I was not well during that trip (not helped by rough seas but I was ill for other reasons). Thus I am looking forward to giving it another airing and, as I no longer worry too much about the career, I might just let rip a little more. I have a few more disasters under my belt since I originally wrote the talk, so I might include one or two of them…

The OUG Ireland conference itself is a fair-sized event, running from 09:00 to 17:30 or so, with 7 concurrent tracks covering Applications, Cloud, BI, Database and Development. I’m astounded by the number of Oracle Aces, Oaktable members and other top knowledge sharers who will be presenting {Update – Brendan Tierney has put together a list of all ACEs presenting}. I’ll have several hard decisions about which talk I go to at any given time. I’ll certainly be at Maria Colgan’s Tech keynote at the end of the day though, I’m hoping for another offer of a date* ;-).

To my shame, I have never been to Ireland before and it’s only just over there {points West}, about 90 minutes by plane. So I am turning up Wednesday lunch time and staying to late Friday afternoon so that I can look around and spend some time with fellow presenting friends (and anyone else who I bump into).

All in all, it is a trip I am greatly looking forward to for various reasons. If you can get along I encourage you to do so. And, if you are there and see me around, come and say “hi”.

{* Note to lawyers, this is an in-joke}.

Learning for free – UK User Group Meetings Coming Up February 20, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in conference, UKOUG.
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There are a few user group meetings coming up in the UK over the next week or two.

Note, you need to register to attend any of these, follow the links.

First is Club Oracle London, which are evening sessions held in London with 3 talks plus free beer and pizza. The next meeting is Thursday Feb 26th at 103a Oxford Street, kicking off at 18:30. You can register for this free event here and also see more details. In brief, Simon Haslam is talking about Oracle Database Appliance, Martin Bach on 12C new features the marketing guys don’t push and finally Phil Brown giving a virtualisation case study, how NOT to do it.

On the 3rd March there is the 8th meeting of Oracle Midlands – again an evening event but this one is in Birmingham. Again, it’s free and samosas {lots of samosas!} turn up half way through to keep you going. Held at Innovation Birmingham near Aston University, there will be Chris Saxon on using Edition Based Redefinition to release PL/SQL to busy systems (ie the PL/SQL code is constantly being executed) and Tim Hall talking about Pluggable Database and why this new feature can “break” things. Tim is good enough to say how you fix the broken (I wonder if the single logwriter will crop up?). They give away some free stuff too!

Finally, on the 4th March and back in London there is the next next UKOUG RAC, Cloud, Infrastructure & Availability SIG. Bit of a mouthful that but we can’t come up with a snappy name that covers the remit of the SIG. We are trying a new format for this SIG, inspired by the two above events. We still have a full-day’s-worth of content but we start at 15:00 and go on into 20:00 in the evening. We hope that this will allow more people to attend without feeling they need to lose the whole working day to it. NB this event is free to UKOUG members but you can pay to come if you (or usually your employer) are not a member. We have talks by Jason Arneil on 12C ASM, Dave Burnham talking about free text searching, David Hickson presenting on linux OS resource management and Jamie Wallis from Oracle on TFA – Diagnostics for the Cloud. Plus a panel session where we discuss whatever you want to discuss!

I’ll be along to Club Oracle London and the RAC CIA SIG but sadly not Oracle Midlands – just can’t squeeze it in which is a real shame as it’s an excellent event.

If time, travel requirements and inclination allow, there are usually beers at a local pub after all the above where you can continue to talk about oracle stuff. Or not. It’s usually a mix :-)

Finally, a quick plug for the OUG Ireland on 19th March. This is a full, one-day conference with more speakers than I can cover, held in Dublin. There are loads of excellent presenters, many are Oracle Aces, Oaktable members and experts in their field. I’ll be there doing my favorite talk, but I’ll do a separate blog about that.

Friday Philosophy – Want to Get On in Business? Don’t Start from Down Here February 13, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, humour, off-topic, Private Life.
Tags: , ,
28 comments

I had a manager a few years ago, a lady. She was good at her job, knew the tech and we got on well. And she would take the piss out of me constantly about my height. One day, another member of the team suddenly said “Hey! Leave him alone! He might actually be sensitive about it and it’s wrong you should be bullying him like this”. My boss replied “Oh come on, he’s not sensitive about it! He takes the Mickey out of himself all the time!”

“Besides… He’s too short to do anything about it.”

It was bloody funny and I think all of us laughed at that – but my defender had a point. I might joke about my height and most of the time I’m fine about it, but day after day of comments and jokes? And other stuff? Crouch down here beside me for 5 minutes and I’ll show you the view…

I am small. If you have not met me, I stand five foot and two and a half inches (158.5cm) tall in my socks. Don’t forget the half inch, it’s important. I have no medical condition, no dwarfism, no biochemical challenges, nothing is wrong to make me small. My parents were small, my grandparents were small, my brothers are similar to me. I’m just small. All of me is in proportion, with one notable exception.

My Ego – That’s huge.

The Three Martins at UKOUG Tech14

The Three Martins at UKOUG Tech14

I should not complain too much. I have all my limbs and senses, everything physical works well, my brain does a pretty good job {despite a few quirks}, I have friends and a wife and I’ve done OK in my career. Actually, no. Let the positive be positive and the negative be negative – My wife is smart, attractive and extremely capable and I’ve done well in my career. I present internationally, I’m recognised by my peers and I’ve been asked to be involved in some great projects.

But it is a Bit Shit Being a Short Man.

As my friends and colleagues are aware, I sometimes make a joke of being small. I can be the first to mention it and I can sure as hell make fun of myself about it if I so decide. However, it is a defense mechanism. Don’t even think of taking the piss out of me for being small as, hey, I’m already doing it and I can do it a lot better than you – I have almost 4 decades of practice {anybody remember the nose-jokes scene by Steve Martin in Roxanne? Go check the link, it’s one of his funniest scenes}. If I am willing to joke about being small I rather effectively remove the ability for someone else to do so to abuse me about it and also give them permission to mention it. My boss above was not being attacking in her jokes as I’d shown I was not sensitive. I’ve taken away most of the potential for someone to be directly negative about my height unless they are willing to be very, very pointed and very obviously unpleasant. Since leaving my early 20’s, very few people have been willing or inclined to do that, so it is an effective strategy.

But for those who know me well, it sometimes becomes annoying. I’m constantly taking steps to establish this defense and as a result I occasionally harp on about my height. Some suggest I stop doing it as it is boring and unnecessary. I should not put myself down. {Down!}. They may be right, but it is a defense mechanism that has served me well and I guess I err on the side of over-emphasising it. So I’m sorry if it bugs some of you, but allow me my oddities please.

{*sigh* – update. Nearly everyone who has commented to me about this blog post (in person, on twitter, or on this blog) have been positive, nice, said they had never considered the accepted & pervasive impact of heightism. Some even apologised for it. Apart from a few short-centered groups who got angry, mostly as they assumed I used humour in a “I’m wearing a big red nose and doing funny mimes” way. No. My humour is not sycophantic. I use irony (like sarcasm but more passive-aggressive, unlike sarcasm which is just aggressive), perspective, even science. If you are short and don’t like that I ever find things funny, like not being able to reach the car mags as they tend to be up the top with the other “bloke” magazines, then sorry – I’m not trying to offend you. I don’t demand you handle things the same as I do. But in return I have no time for anyone who tells me I am wrong to laugh at things.}

But there is one area where humour does not help and it is an area where I probably get the most discrimination since leaving school (where the old standards of being hit, pinned down, thrown or similarly physically messed with were more popular – oh, for the sweet innocence of childhood).

As a Small Male, in some business situations, I am sometimes not listened to or taken seriously by people – especially management. Management is full of Alpha Males {actually, in IT mostly it’s beta males, all the Real Men are in finance, sales or other crime}. This is true even when I am a fellow manager. I can’t number the times I have been in a meeting, said something and the conversation has continued as if everyone had just taken a moment to look out the window, rather than listening to someone contributing. Many times I’ve had that galling experience of an idea I put forward being ignored until someone else, someone… more tall… says the same thing and then it is a great idea. Or of being talked over by an Alpha Male. Repeatedly. Early on I made the mistake of challenging this head-on a few times and the response was either simple denial or, worse, condescension. “Oh don’t be so sensitive Martin” or “Of course we value your input, don’t be so silly and just grow up”. Yes, I’ve had that.

I suspect most women reading this will be recognising these issues and saying “Yep, welcome to my world”. For a long time I’ve felt there is a parallel between being a small male in a working environment, especially in management, and being a women. Don’t get me wrong, small men don’t get the constant other hassles women get. I don’t get looked up {err… looked down in my case?} , I never feel like I am being hit on {or maybe I am just missing it, I’m terribly naïve}, no one has come up to me in a conference and said “my friend likes you, will you come and talk to him” {my wife has had this – she said it was like being back to school parties but with an extra element of Creepie}. But I often get ignored by management and my input to discussions gets downgraded. I’ve watched this happen to female colleagues year after year, it is a real issue. Some men will listen politely to women but it is simply listening politely – before they mentally rewind the meeting to before the “delightful lady said something” and continue with the proper matter in hand. They do exactly the same to my input. I’m not an alpha male, I’m a child, it’s nice that they let me be there and join in.

But unlike sexual or most other forms of discrimination I also have no real recourse to… Anything. There is of course no legal position on heightism. There is also no social pressure on or condemnation of heightism. In fact , if anything it’s the opposite. “You silly little man”, “Grow up” and a whole catalogue of insults with the word “little” or “small” or “tiny” thrown in for emphasis. There are plenty of sitcoms where the small guy is the dweeb or the butt of the jokes. Not many films where the action hero is played by someone like Danny DeVito. And if the actor is small, efforts are taken to hide that (how many of you are thinking Tom Cruise? – who is all of 4 inches below average! He’s not small!!! He’s in the normal 60-70%!). If I challenge the attitude directly it rarely goes well, especially if I am angry. Apparently, there are few things funnier than a small bloke jumping up and down with a red face squeeking “Take me Seriously!!!”. It’s also very tiring. I have to jump quite high to be seen past the desk. And suggesting I am acting like a child is just more damned height discrimination you… dickhead.

Even when people are trying to be nice to short men they often just continue the discrimination without noticing, thinking it’s some sort of complement. Think about it, how often when someone small is being praised do they say something like “He may only be small but inside there is a giant” or “Dave may not be the tallest guy but, in respect of {blah}, he towers above us”. They are still saying short is bad and tall is good! You would not say of someone who’s fat “Derek may be obese but inside he has the physique of a Greek God”. And you would certainly not ever, ever say “Mike may be black but inside there is a white guy trying to get out”!!!

Do you think I’m making too much about this? I am being overly sensitive to a problem that does not really exist? Well, stay crouched with me and do a quick web search on the correlation between height and pay, height and political success, height and business success {NB three different links, just to “google.uk” really}. Again, women will recognise all this.

And of course, I don’t have issues with my height all the time. Many people listen to me, especially if I am talking as a technical expert as opposed to a manager. I have managed to function well as a manager and sometimes when I make a side reference to it, people will stop and go “oh. Yes, I see what you mean”. But it is a constant background bloody maddening annoyance.

Interestingly, I mentioned this all to a friend a while back when we were discussing the hard time women and ethnic minorities can have and at first I think he just listened politely. A couple of months later we were chatting again and he said something like “you know, I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’ve never had a short manager, most senior people I come across are at least average or tall. The small men I come across are technicians”.

So thanks for crouching down here with me for a few minutes to take in the view, you better stand up again before your knees give you hell.

There is nothing I can really do about the above, it’s just a fact of life that heightism is there and at least it is not a type of discrimination that is aggressive or hateful, unlike the serious ones that society does or is starting to tackle. But I just wanted to mention it, to get it off my chest. It’s been weighing me down.

Remember that half inch of height I said was important? Well, it is but not maybe in the way you might think. When I was personally hung up about my height, especially when I was in my teens {and actually just into my 20’s} and still growing, then every half inch of height was significant as it was me “improving”. When I stuck at 5’2.5” the .5 was important as it pushed me into the normal 5th-95th percentile for height – or it did if you were looking at a graph from a pretty old encyclopaedia, like I was. Average height has risen by a couple of inches in the last 50 years and varies from country to country and I’m not even close to the normal range now. Can I just say that it’s really mean of you guys to have moved the goal posts by growing even more. But the 0.5 inch took on a new significance in my late-20’s – as I stopped worrying about it or mentioning it if anyone asked my height. I’m small, that’s not going to change and it’s fine. I mention the half more now than I did then, as it makes me smile when I say “5 foot 2… and a half”.

iTunes 12.1 skips after recent update February 9, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in off-topic.
Tags: ,
8 comments

(Fixing my iPhone5 battery with my Bum …>)

iTunes started skipping on my PC after a recent update (end of Jan 2015). It is version 12.1 of iTunes.

iTunes skips when using Chrome, mostly.

That’s enough search-friendly lines to help the web crawlers get here. Apologies to my normal visitors, this is obviously nothing to do with Oracle databases, development or my usual ramblings. Go read something else unless you landed here looking for help with skipping iTunes playback.

iTunes on my laptop wanted to update a few days ago so I let it. Next time I fired iTunes up, I was annoyed to discover that a track I had recently uploaded, from a compilation CD I have of 60’s classics, was poor quality and skipping. Except that the next few tracks also skipped a little, old favorites I knew were fine. I did a quick web search but most of the references were 4 or 5 years old. The skipping was getting worse so I shut down iTunes and used a…. CD player.

A few days later I was working on the machine and wanted some music to ease the task in hand, fired up iTunes and it was soon skipping again. I then fired up a few extra Chrome windows (for unrelated reasons) and the skipping got a lot worse. I shut down Chrome and the skipping stopped. A bit of testing revealed that iTunes did not skip for me on an, admittedly, lightly loaded machine – but did when Chrome was up and running. Anything constantly updating in Chrome (Twitter feed or live sports update) made it worse.

My machine is quite powerful, it’s an MSi gaming machine with an Intel i7-4700 processor, 8GB of memory and a dual SSD/HDD with the OS and applications sitting on the SSD. It’s not lack of grunt that was causing the issue but something crap in what iTunes is doing.

I found a solution – This apple.com discussion – which itself links to this download for a 64-bit version of iTunes 12.1 supporting “older video cards”. My video card is not that old in the scheme of things, being a GeForce GTX 765M which was a pretty reasonable card 12 months ago.

After I downloaded the alternative version of iTunes and let it install, the skipping seems to have stopped. I’ve tested having a dozen Chrome tabs open with a couple of them being interactive and my chosen 80’s music selection was skip-free.

I hope that helps people. If you came here for the iTunes hint, don’t look at the rest of the blog, you will be sadly disappointed :-)

(Fixing my iPhone5 battery with my Bum …>)

Friday Philosophy – How Much does Social Media Impact your Career for Real? February 6, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in Blogging, Friday Philosophy, humour, Perceptions.
Tags: , , ,
10 comments

Does what you tweet impact your chances of getting that next interview?
Do people check out your Facebook pictures before making you a job offer?
Does my Blog actually have any impact on my career?

We’ve all heard horror stories about people losing their job as a result of a putting something “very unfortunate” on their facebook page, like how they were on holiday/at a sports event when their employer was under the illusion they were off sick, or the more obvious {and pretty stupid} act of denigrating their boss or employer. But how much does general, day-to-day social media impact your career? {“Your” as in you people who come by this blog, mostly professionals in IT. I know it will be different for people trying to get a job in media or….social media :-) }.

Two things recently have made me wonder about this:

  • The first is that I’ve been in or watched a few discussions recently (via social media!) where people are suggesting that their social media output is part of who they are seen as professionally and they make efforts to ensure they give the right impression, or have even sought professional help to improve their social media standing in respect of employment.
  • The second is that I recently was involved in some hiring and I never even thought to look at their social media. Maybe that is just because I’m over {picks an age} 30 and social media is not a massive thing to me. Most of my hiring experience was before the likes of Facebook and though I would check out a blog if it was mentioned on a CV, I would not have thought to check them out.

When I initially thought about that second point I assumed that most people hiring in the world of IT are similarly a bit ancient like myself and maybe not that attuned to social media. But perhaps I am wrong as it’s people similar to me out there on Twitter who have been worrying about such things. Maybe social media is considered by potential employees than I think? I’d like to know what anyone else thinks.

I should add that I don’t see all Social Media as the same when it comes to it’s impact on your career. I think their is Friends Social and Business Social. Something like LinkedIn is aimed fair and square at business and professional activity and is Business Social. You would really expect it to be looked at and, in fact, most people who use it would hope it is! {Mine isn’t, I get about 3 or 4 views a week and only once, 5 or 6 years ago, was I approached via it for a work opportunity}. If you blog about a work topic or tweet as an expert in your field (so your tweets are mostly about your day job, not just the odd reference) and especially if you are doing either under a company banner then, yes, I’d expect that to be taken into account when prospective employment comes up.

Social Media is most people’s twittering, personal Facebook, private blogs, Pinterest and all those dozens of things I know nothing about as I am too old and too antisocial. Do these really have much impact on your career?

I would suggest not, again for two reasons:

  • I don’t think most employers are going to look at your Friends Social Media until they have at least interviewed you, as when you are hiring you barely have enough time to check over the CV’s, let alone research each candidate’s personal history. Once you have interviewed them, then they have become a real person rather than a name and if you do check out their Friends Social Media then you will look at it in light of them being a human being, which is point 2:
  • Unless you are saying things that would make anyone think you are a bit odd or unpleasant, I can’t see that discussions of football, insulting your friends, making double entendra comments or (one of my favorites) pointless drivel about your cat is going to make anyone who you would want to work for worry about you. Some people might put up things that could be offensive to others – but then, if you really do think immigrants are ruining the UK, we are not going to get on so working together is a mistake for both of us. So maybe even stating your strongly held opinions is long-term beneficial as well. Some people take my strong dislike of children as a real reason to not like me very much. Best we don’t spend 8 hours a day, five days a week together. You’ll only bang on about your bloody kids.

What I think is a shame is that I suspect some people {many people?} self-censor themselves on all Social Media due to a concern to always be seen as professional. As good worker material. We all know that almost everyone we work with have unprofessional moments and, in fact, those few who are professional all the time tend to be… staggeringly dull.

So maybe being mindful of your professional standing is totally correct on Business Social Media but a bit of a shame if you let it impact your Friends Social Media.

But remember, on all social media there are limits. There are some things about you, Dave, that you should simply not share. Or at least, only at the pub when we are all too drunk to care.

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