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Friday Philosophy – How Much does Social Media Impact your Career for Real? February 6, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in Blogging, Friday Philosophy, humour, Perceptions.
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10 comments

Does what you tweet impact your chances of getting that next interview?
Do people check out your Facebook pictures before making you a job offer?
Does my Blog actually have any impact on my career?

We’ve all heard horror stories about people losing their job as a result of a putting something “very unfortunate” on their facebook page, like how they were on holiday/at a sports event when their employer was under the illusion they were off sick, or the more obvious {and pretty stupid} act of denigrating their boss or employer. But how much does general, day-to-day social media impact your career? {“Your” as in you people who come by this blog, mostly professionals in IT. I know it will be different for people trying to get a job in media or….social media :-) }.

Two things recently have made me wonder about this:

  • The first is that I’ve been in or watched a few discussions recently (via social media!) where people are suggesting that their social media output is part of who they are seen as professionally and they make efforts to ensure they give the right impression, or have even sought professional help to improve their social media standing in respect of employment.
  • The second is that I recently was involved in some hiring and I never even thought to look at their social media. Maybe that is just because I’m over {picks an age} 30 and social media is not a massive thing to me. Most of my hiring experience was before the likes of Facebook and though I would check out a blog if it was mentioned on a CV, I would not have thought to check them out.

When I initially thought about that second point I assumed that most people hiring in the world of IT are similarly a bit ancient like myself and maybe not that attuned to social media. But perhaps I am wrong as it’s people similar to me out there on Twitter who have been worrying about such things. Maybe social media is considered by potential employees than I think? I’d like to know what anyone else thinks.

I should add that I don’t see all Social Media as the same when it comes to it’s impact on your career. I think their is Friends Social and Business Social. Something like LinkedIn is aimed fair and square at business and professional activity and is Business Social. You would really expect it to be looked at and, in fact, most people who use it would hope it is! {Mine isn’t, I get about 3 or 4 views a week and only once, 5 or 6 years ago, was I approached via it for a work opportunity}. If you blog about a work topic or tweet as an expert in your field (so your tweets are mostly about your day job, not just the odd reference) and especially if you are doing either under a company banner then, yes, I’d expect that to be taken into account when prospective employment comes up.

Social Media is most people’s twittering, personal Facebook, private blogs, Pinterest and all those dozens of things I know nothing about as I am too old and too antisocial. Do these really have much impact on your career?

I would suggest not, again for two reasons:

  • I don’t think most employers are going to look at your Friends Social Media until they have at least interviewed you, as when you are hiring you barely have enough time to check over the CV’s, let alone research each candidate’s personal history. Once you have interviewed them, then they have become a real person rather than a name and if you do check out their Friends Social Media then you will look at it in light of them being a human being, which is point 2:
  • Unless you are saying things that would make anyone think you are a bit odd or unpleasant, I can’t see that discussions of football, insulting your friends, making double entendra comments or (one of my favorites) pointless drivel about your cat is going to make anyone who you would want to work for worry about you. Some people might put up things that could be offensive to others – but then, if you really do think immigrants are ruining the UK, we are not going to get on so working together is a mistake for both of us. So maybe even stating your strongly held opinions is long-term beneficial as well. Some people take my strong dislike of children as a real reason to not like me very much. Best we don’t spend 8 hours a day, five days a week together. You’ll only bang on about your bloody kids.

What I think is a shame is that I suspect some people {many people?} self-censor themselves on all Social Media due to a concern to always be seen as professional. As good worker material. We all know that almost everyone we work with have unprofessional moments and, in fact, those few who are professional all the time tend to be… staggeringly dull.

So maybe being mindful of your professional standing is totally correct on Business Social Media but a bit of a shame if you let it impact your Friends Social Media.

But remember, on all social media there are limits. There are some things about you, Dave, that you should simply not share. Or at least, only at the pub when we are all too drunk to care.

An Oracle Instance is Like An Upmarket Restaurant January 28, 2015

Posted by mwidlake in Architecture.
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I recently did an Introduction to Oracle presentation, describing how the oracle instance worked – technically, but from a very high level. In it I used the analogy of a restaurant, which I was quite happy with. I am now looking at converting that talk into a set of short articles and it struck me that the restaurant analogy is rather good!

Here is a slide from the talk:

Simple partial overview of an Oracle Instance

Simple partial overview of an Oracle Instance

As a user of the oracle instance, you are the little, red blob at the bottom left. You (well, your process, be it SQL*Plus, SQL*Developer, a Java app or whatever) do nothing to the database directly. It is all done for you by the Oracle Sever Process – and this is your waiter.

Now, the waiter may wait on many tables (Multi-threaded server) but this is a very posh restaurant, you get your own waiter.

You ask the waiter for food and the waiter goes off and asks the restaurant to provide it. There are many people working in the restaurant, most of them doing specific jobs and they go off and do whatever they do. You, the customer, have no idea who they are or what they do and you don’t really care. You don’t see most of them. You just wait for your food (your SQL results) to turn up. And this is exactly how an Oracle Instance works. Lots of specific processes carry out their own tasks but they are coordinated and the do the job without most of us having much of an idea what each bit does. Finally, some of the food is ready and the waiter delivers the starter to you – The server process brings you the first rows of data.

Let’s expand the analogy a bit, see how far we can take it.

When you arrived at the restaurant, the Maître d’ greets you and allocates you to your waiter. This is like the Listener process waiting for connection requests and allocating you a server process. The Listener Process listens on a particular port, which is the front door to the restaurant. When you log onto an oracle database your session is created, ie your table is laid. If someone has only just logged off the database their session might get partially cleared and re-used for you (you can see this as the SID may well get re-used), as creating a session is a large task for the database. If someone had just left the restaurant that table may have a quick brush down and the cutlery refreshed, but the table cloth, candle and silly flower in a vase stay. Completely striping a table and relaying it takes more time.

The restaurant occupies a part of the building, the database occupies part of the server. Other things go in the server, the restaurant is in a hotel.

The PMON process is the restaurant manager or Head of House maybe and SMON is the kitchen manager, keeping an eye on the processes/staff and parts of the restaurant they are responsible for. To be candid, I don’t really know what PMON and SMON do in detail and I have no real idea how you run a large kitchen.

There are lots of other processes, these are equivalent to the Sous-chef, Saucier, commis-chef, Plonger (washes up, the ARC processes maybe?), Ritisseur, Poissonier, Patissier etc. They just do stuff, let’s not worry about the details, we just know there are lots of them making it all happen and we the customer or end user never see them.

The PGA is the table area in the restaurant, where all the dishes are arranged and provided to each customer? That does not quite work as the waiter does not sit at our table and feed us.

The SGA is the kitchen, where the ingredients are gathered together and converted into the dishes – the data blocks are gathered in the block buffer cache and processed. The Block Buffer Cache are the tables and kitchen surfaces, where all the ingredients sit. The Library cache is, yes, the recipes. They keep getting re-used as our kitchen only does certain recipes, it’s a database with a set of standard queries. It’s when some fool orders off-menu that it all goes to pot.

Food is kept in the larder and fridges – the tablespaces on disc. You do not prepare the dishes in the larder or fridge, let alone eat food out of them (well, some of the oracle process might nick the odd piece of cooked chicken or chocolate). everything is brought into the kitchen {the SGA} and processed there, on the kitchen tables.

The orders for food are the requests for change – the redo deltas. Nothing is considered ordered until it is on that board in the kitchen, that is the vital information. All the orders are preserved (so you know what was ordered, you can do the accounts and you can re-stock). The archived redo. You don’t have to keep this information but if you don’t, it’s a lot harder to run the restaurant and you can’t find out what was ordered last night.

The SCN is the clock on the wall and all orders get the time they were place on them, so people get their food prepared in order.

When you alter the ingredients, eg grate some of the Parmesan cheese into a sauce, the rest of the cheese (which, being an ingredient is in the SGA) is not put back into the fridge immediately, ie put back into storage. It will probably be used again soon. That’ll push it up the LRU list. Eventually someone will put it back, probably the Garçon de cuisine (the kitchen boy). A big restaurant will gave more then one Garçon de cuisine, all with DBW1 to x written on the back of their whites, and they take the ingredients back to the larder or kitchen when they get around to it – or are ordered to do so by one of the chefs.

Can we pull in the idea of RAC? I think we can. We can think of it as a large hotel complex which will have several restaurants, or at least places to eat. They have their own kitchens but the food is all stored in the central store rooms of the hotel complex. I can’t think what can be an analogy of block pinging as only a badly designed or run restautant would for example only have one block of Parmesan cheese – oh, maybe it IS a lot like some of the RAC implementations I have seen :-)

What is the Sommelier (wine waiter) in all of this? Suggestions on a post card please.

Does anyone have any enhancements to my analogy?

The BBC has “Stolen” my Interesting Shortest Day Facts December 21, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in off-topic.
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2 comments

Today, the 21st December 2014, is the “shortest day” in the Western Hemisphere this year, the day in which the period of daylight is shortest (it’s the 22nd if the last Leap Year is more than 2 years ago).

I’ve blogged before about how the evenings start drawing out BEFORE the shortest day and, despite it not being an Oracle technical post and was also one of my first posts {when almost no one came by}, it gets a modest but interesting number of hits. If you look at the below graphs (sorry, it’s not as clear as it could be unless you click on the image), you will see there is a burst of hits at the end of the year and a smaller rise in interest at the middle of the year.

Evenings_post_stats

These hits are all via search engines, mostly on the phrase “Evenings drawing out”. Obviously there is a correlation with people both in the Northern (for the December hits) and Southern (for the June hits) hemispheres getting sick of the longer periods of dark and googling about when it will start to change. And finding this strangely relevant post on what is otherwise a nerdy IT site.

{Isn’t this an example of what all the IT blather about Big Data and the cloud is about? Finding patterns in search engine data etc? My blog is not exactly Big Data though :-) }

Well, The BBC is probably going to steal my thunder, this year at least, as they have done an article on the phenomena, though concentrating more on the mornings continuing to get darker after the “shortest day”. It’s not a very good article in one respect, though, as it has the phrase “perceived a curious development” as though this mismatch between the shortest day and mornings/evenings getting later is a recent change. I’m pretty sure that the tilt of our planet and it’s orbit around the sun has not changed enough in my lifetime to alter this situation! In fact, I checked – evenings started drawing out on around the 13th December 50 years ago, exactly the same as this year and exactly the same as is expected in 50 years too. It does describe well, however, how it is our shifting clock (due to the longer day length around now) that causes the shift.

Another little oddity about shortest day and our planet is in respect of when you think the earth is furthest from the sun. Most of us in the Northern hemisphere assume it is on the shortest day, because it is colder and darker. But it is not. we are actually nearest to the sun, at “perihelion”, on the 3rd Jan. So not even “shortest day” but just after :-).

Friday Philosophy – my Funniest “PC Support” Call in Years December 19, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, humour, Private Life.
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Those of us who work in IT often find ourselves being called by friends and relatives to help with issues they have with their home computer. No matter what branch of IT we work in, it’s IT {they figure} so of course we can fix their PC problems. It’s like any scientist can probably explain what the Higgs Boson really is and reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

Mothers and other elderly relatives are probably the most baffling when it comes to such requests, but this week I had a wonderful call-out from one of my neighbours.

The neighour in question is a slightly dotty, jolly posh but well meaning Lady (we live in the cheap house around here, she lives at the other end of things).

“Oh Martin, it’s AWE-full! My computer is full of p3nises and other horrible things!!! Please help me get rid of all the p3nises!!!”

Ahhh… I wonder what sites she’s been looking at…must be a virus or something. “It’s OK Tabitha, I’ll pop down now and have a look for you” I say. “Oh, that is so decent of you, your such a helpful young man!” {Young?!?}

So I tell my wife I’ve off over to Tabitha’s to help her with p3nises – and leave her sniggering on the sofa. When I arrive Tabitha opens the door and exclaims, quite loudly “oh thank you for coming to help me with these p3nises and things!”. Thanks, Tabitha, I’m sure John and Elaine could hear that.

It takes ages to get to the bottom of what her issue is as she is talking non-stop, wandering off track and saying how they must think she’s a man as they want her to buy certain drugs and she keeps describing the p3nises and naked people “doing very rude things” she has seen – and each time I try and do anything on her tablet she’ll suddenly lean over and tap on any icons or links. It’s like a Pavlovian response. This could be the root of all her IT woes…

It turns out her virus scanner is running (I set her up with that), up to date and there seems to be no infection. The problem is simply the spam email she (and we all) get. She has her mail application set to preview and also download any images in the email. And she checks each spam email before deleting each one. I suspect sometimes she checks in detail…

We then have a long and sometimes surreal conversation about why they think she should want to buy viagra, enhancement creams or meet Tanya who is local, fun, vivacious and wants some company. {“Well she sounds like she just wants some friends to me” – “DON’T CLICK ON THAT LINK!!!!”}. At least she knows to never respond to emails about bills, banks, missed messages or vast sums of money – we had that conversation when I helped her sort out the Laptop a year or two back. I did not bring up sex as, well, you don’t talk to nice ladies like Tabitha about sex… Tabitha did ask if she should respond to ask them to just stop sending her these pictures but I assured her it would only get worse if we did. These are not nice people we are dealing with.

We could not sort out better filtering at her mail server end for various reasons so in the end I showed her how to turn off the preview and delete all spam with one click. That mollified her and I was allowed to leave.

There was one small knock-on effect. Now apparently, according to her (other neighbours tell me she has said this) I “am wonderful with p3nises”.

Nice to know.

Thank you for letting me share that one…

If anyone has other tails of enforced PC support which might amuse, please share – T’is the season to be Jolly after all. But please changes names! This is a public blog, Tabitha may never come across my posts but at least she will know she is not called Tabitha.

UKOUG Tech14 Suggestions for Intro Talks and My Picks of the Rest December 4, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Meeting notes, UKOUG.
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As I mentioned in my last post, we tried to organise a thread of intro talks into day one and two of this year’s UKOUG Tech14 conference (you can see the agenda grid here). It was not complete but I thought I should pull it into it’s own post and add in what I would recommend from the overall agenda for people who are relatively new to Oracle RDBMS.

Monday 8th

  • 08:50 – Welcome and Introduction
    • Get there in time for the intro if you can, as if you are newish to the tech you are probably newish to a conference.
  • 09:00 RMAN the basics, by Michael Abbey.
    • If you are a DBA type, backup/recovery is your number one concern.
  • 10:00 – How Oracle Works in 50 Minutes
    • My attempt to cover the basic architecture in under an hour.
  • 11:30 – All about Joins by Tony Hasler
    • Top presenter, always good content
  • 12:30 – Lunch. Go and talk to people, lots of people, find some people you might like to talk with again.
  • 13:20 – Go to the Oracle Keynote.
    • The keynote itself is shorter than normal and afterit there is a panel discussion by technical experts.
  • 14:30 is a bit tricky. Tim Hall on Analytical Functions is maybe a bit advanced, but Tim is a brilliant teacher and it is an intro to the subject. Failing that, I’d suggest the Oracle Enterprise Manager round table hosted by Dev Nayak as Database-centric oracle people should know OEM.
  • 16:00 – Again a bit tricky for someone new but I’d plump for The role of Privileges and Roles in Oracle 12C by Carl Dudley. He lectures (lectured?) in database technology and knows his stuff, but this is a New Feature talk…
  • 17:00 – Tuning by Explain Plan by Arian Stijf
    • This is a step-by-step guide to understanding the most common tool used for performance tuning
  • 17:50 onwards – go to the exhibition drinks, the community drinks and just make friends. One of the best thing to come out of conferences is meeting people and swapping stories.

Tuesday 9th

  • 09:30 Maria ColganTop 5 things you need to know about Oracle Database in-Memory Option
    • This is actually the Database technical keynote, about one of the key new technologies.
  • 10:30 Introduction to Oracle Application Express by Joel Kallman
    • APEX, as it is often called, is a simple but powerful way to develop applications. It’s probably THE most common thing that DBA-types don’t know and  wish they did?
  • 12:00 If you know any Java then Jacob Landlust on What all DBAs need to understand about JDBC Configuration or else Pete Finnigan on Secure, Review & Lock Down your Oracle Database.
  •  14:00 Chris Lawless on Zero Downtime Migrations using logical Replication
    • Good as he covers the principals of such things which teachers you a lot
  • 15:00 A bit of a struggle for a general Intro talk so I will plump for…Tim Gorman on RDBMS Forensics: Troubleshooting Using ASH as I know Tim will explain why understanding and solving performance issues is a science, not an art
  • 16:30 Tom Kyte on SQL is the best Development Language for Big Data
    • If you are new to Oracle, you pretty much have to go to at least one Tom Kyte presentation.
  • 17:30 Jonathan Lewis Five Hints for Efficient SQL
    • If you are new to Oracle, you pretty much have to go to at least one Jonathan Lewis presentation :-)

Oh, what the heck…

Wednesday 10th

  • 09:00 Jonathan Lewis Fundamentals of trouble shooting Pt1
  • 10:00  Jonathan Lewis Fundamentals of trouble shooting Pt2
  • 11:30 Tim Gorman on three types of table compression
  • 12:30 Tom Kyte More things about Oracle Database 12C
  • 14:30 Alex Nuijten Oracle 12C for developers
  • 15:30 Neil Chandler Goldengate – Migrating my first TB

 

Each year I struggle more and more to get to all the talks I want to, partly as there are so many clashes of good talks but also I end up in interesting conversations with old friends and suddenly realise I’ve missed a talk. Or my brain hits “full” and I have to take a breather.

However, my intended agenda is:

  • 08:50 Welcome and Intro to delegates prior to…
  • 09:00 Martin Bach on Oracle 12C features that didn’t make the marketing top 10
  • 10:00 Myself, HOw Oracle works in 50 minutes
  • 11:00 Coffee and recovering!
  • 11:30 Hmm, I want to go to four… Maybe Robyn Sands, Why Solid SQL still delivers the best ROI.
  • 13:30 Oracle Keynote panel
  • 14:30 Tom Hall on Analytical Functions..Or maybe Larry Carpenter on Active Data Guard…
  • 16:00 Antti Koskinen , Undocumented 11g.12c Features Internals
  • 17:00 Graham Wood, AWR: looking Beyond the Wait Events and Top SQL

Tuesday

  • 09:30 I have the pleasure of chairing Maria Colgan’s Database Keynote, Top Five Things you need to know about Oracle Database in-Memory option
  • 10:30 Joze Senegacnik, Most common Databse Configuration Mistakes
  • 12:00 Richard Foote, Oracle database 12XC New Indexing Features
  • 14:00 Damn… I’ll plump for Maria Colgan on IN-memory and the optimizer. Sorry Tim and Chris
  • 15:00 Now Tim, on RDBMS Forensics and Ash
  • 16:30 Chris Antognini on adaptive query optimization
  • 17:30 it better be Pete Sharman, hot over from Aus, doing deployment best practices for Private cloud, as I am chairing him

Wednesday

  • 09:00 Patrick Hurley, Adventures in Database Administration.
  • 10:00 Me, on boosting performance by clustering data
  • 11:30 Richard Foote, indexing in Exadata
  • 12:30 Tom Kyte, More things about Oracle 12C
  • 14:30 chairing Ganco Dimitriov on the importance of having an appropriate data segmentation
  • 15:30 Last one, 3 to chose from… Neil Chandler on Goldengate I think

Drive home and sleep

 

How do you Explain Oracle in 50 Minutes? December 2, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Architecture, conference, UKOUG.
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10 comments

I’ve done a very “brave”* thing. I’ve put forward a talk to this year’s UKOUG Tech14 conference titled “How Oracle Works – in under 50 minutes”. Yes, I really was suggesting I could explain to people how the core of Oracle functions in that time. Not only that, but the talk is aimed at those new to Oracle technology. And it got accepted, so I have to present it. I can’t complain about that too much, I was on the paper selection committee…

* – “brave”, of course, means “stupid” in this context.

As a result I am now strapped to the chair in front of my desk, preparing an attempt to explain the overall structure of an Oracle instance, how data moves in out of storage, how ACID works and a few other things. Writing this blog is just avoidance behaviour on my part as I delay going back to it.

Is it possible? I’m convinced it is.

If you ignore all the additional bits, the things that not all sites use, such as Partitioning, RAC, Resource Manager, Materialized Views etc, etc, etc, then that removes a lot. And if not everyone uses it, then it is not core.
There is no need or intention on my part to talk about details of the core – for example, how the Cost Based aspect of the optimizer works, Oracle permissions or the steps needed for instance recovery. We all use those but the details are ignored by some people for their whole career {not usually people who I would deem competent, despite them holding down jobs as Oracle technicians, but they do}.

You are left with a relatively small set of things going on. Don’t get me wrong, it is still a lot of stuff to talk about and is almost certainly too much for someone to fully take in and digest in the time I have. I’m going to have to present this material as if I am possessed. But my intention is to describe a whole picture that makes sense and will allow people to understand the flow. Then, when they see presentations on aspects of it later in the conference, there is more chance it will stick. I find I need to be taught something 3 or 4 times. The first time simply opens my mind to the general idea, the second time I retain some of the details and the third or forth time I start integrating it into what I already new.

My challenge is to say enough so that it makes sense and *no more*. I have developed a very bad habit of trying to cram too much into a presentation and of course this is a real danger here. I’m trying to make it all visual. There will be slides of text, but they are more for if you want to download the talk after the conference. However, drawing pictures takes much, much, much longer than banging down a half dozen bullet points.

One glimmer in the dark is that there is a coffee break after my session. I can go right up to the wire and then take questions after I officially stop, if I am not wrestled to the ground and thrown out the room.

If anyone has any suggestions or comments about what I should or should not include, I’d love to hear them.

This is all part of my intention to provide more conference content for those new to Oracle. As such, this “overview” talk is at the start of the first day of the main conference, 10am Monday. I have to thank my fellow content organisers for allowing me to stick it in where I wanted it. If you are coming to the conference and don’t know much Oracle yet – then I am amazed you read my blog (or any other blog other than maybe AskTom). But if you have colleagues or friends coming who are still relatively new to the tech, tell them to look out for my talk. I really hope it will help them get that initial understanding.

I had hoped to create a fully fledged thread of intro talks running through all of Monday and Tuesday, but I brought the idea up too late. We really needed to promote the idea at the call for papers and then maybe sources a couple of talk. However, using the talks that were accepted we did manage to get a good stab at a flow of intro talks through Monday. I would suggest:

  • 08:50 – Welcome and Introduction
    • Get there in time for the intro if you can, as if you are newish to the tech you are probably newish to a conference
  • 09:00 RMAN the basics, by Michael Abbey.
    • If you are a DBA type, backup/recovery is your number one concern.
  • 10:00 – How Oracle Works in 50 Minutes
    • I think I have said enough!
  • 11:30 – All about Joins by Tony Hasler
    • Top presenter, always good content
  • 12:30 – Lunch. Go and talk to people, lots of people, find some people you might like to talk with again. *don’t stalk anyone*
  • 13:20 – Go to the Oracle Keynote.
    • Personally, I hate whole-audience keynotes, I am sick of being told every year how “there has never been a better time to invest in oracle technology” – but this one is short and after it there is a panel discussion by technical experts.
  • 14:30 is a bit tricky. Tim Hall on Analytical Functions is maybe a bit advanced, but Tim is a brilliant teacher and it is an intro to the subject. Failing that, I’d suggest the Oracle Enterprise Manager round table hosted by Dev Nayak as Database-centric oracle people should know OEM.
  • 16:00 – Again a bit tricky for someone new but I’d plump for The role of Privileges and Roles in Oracle 12C by Carl Dudley. He lectures (lectured?) in database technology and knows his stuff, but this is a New Feature talk…
  • 17:00 – Tuning by Explain Plan by Arian Stijf
    • This is a step-by-step guide to understanding the most common tool used for performance tuning
  • 17:50 onwards – go to the exhibition drinks, the community drinks and just make friends. One of the best thing to come out of conferences is meeting people and swapping stories.

I better get back to drawing pictures. Each one takes me a day and I need about 8 of them. Whoops!

Conferences and the Etiquette of Meeting New People November 25, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Perceptions.
Tags: , , ,
3 comments

One of the reasons I like user group conferences is meeting new people in my “area” – these people at the conference not only like technology and probably some of the same technology I do but, as they are at a conference, are probably inclined to learn stuff, meet people and maybe share ideas. I’m not actually very good face-to-face socially with people I do not know, so I like to tilt things in my favour if I can!

But sometimes you have odd experiences.

I was at a conference a couple of years back that was not in the UK. I was loving it as I was meeting some people I knew electronically but never met and others who I had only met when they visited UK conferences – but most people I had no real connection to, so I was a bit quiet (yes, loud-mouthed, always-comments-in-talks me was quiet), especially as it was the first day. I was late for the lunch event, I don’t remember why, but it was a little unusual for being a sit-down meal and there was to be some meet-the-expert tables and I wanted to be able to identify some people I knew by name and never met. The big signs on tables would be a bit of a help there.

As I came in I saw half the tables were full and most of my friends were already on a full table. I wandered over to a half-full table and as I sat down I said “Hello, I’m Martin Widlake, How you doing?” or whatever to the half-dozen guys there. They all looked at me. A couple nodded or said “hi” but one said “We’ve got other friends turning up soon”. Hmm, that was code for “sod off”, I think.

I turned on the full English Accent so they could tell I was not from around those parts. “That’s nice – always good to have friends when you are at a conference….especially one where you don’t know many people?”. Some smiled, they all understood my mild reprimand. Mr Friendly who had mentioned all his other friends did not smile though. After this opening “chat” no one else really said anything more to me.

The Starter turned up and the guys all spoke to each other – and ignored me. Some other lone gun wandered up and asked me if he could sit next to me – “Sure, feel free – I’m Martin Widlake, I’m from the UK”. He introduced himself and sat down. Mr Friendly piped up “There are more people joining us at this table, I’m not sure there is gonna be room”. Some of his already-present friends had the decency to look a bit apologetic and I simply said “Well, it’s pretty full on all the tables now – and he’s got his starter” as the waitress put down a plate. And I pointedly started talking to the new chap.

Main turns up and so do a couple of late members for Mr Friendly’s group, who sat down at the remaining spare seats. “I told you” he said “you might have to move”.

I’m losing my patience a bit now. “Well they can sit somewhere else I’m sure, seeing as they are late.”

Mr Friendly is getting angry “I warned you when you sat down – when the others turn up, you’ll move”.

“I won’t move, this is my seat. I’m staying here”.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” demands Mr Friendly. Oh, thank you, I think to myself. I’m so going to enjoy this….

“Well, I did introduce myself when I arrived and….” pointing to the large sign with ‘Martin Widlake’ on it above the table “there is a large reminder of my name just there”. I paused a couple of seconds before adding “So this is my seat and my table and I’m kind of obliged to stay here, whether you want to talk to me or not”.

Maybe I could have handled the situation better from the start and stressed that the reason why I was staying was I was supposed to sit at my table. But I was smarting a little from the fact that no one apparently wanted to come to my table and talk to me. Maybe not surprising, as I don’t think I had done a presentation at the conference at that point – but my massive ego was already bruised.

So what about the etiquette of meeting people at conferences? It was just a title for a story I felt like telling…

However, there are a couple of things I do want to mention about the etiquette of meeting people at conferences. If you do not know many people there – just talk to people. People you don’t know. Just make a few observational or open comments, nothing to direct – “This queue for the coffee is a bit long”, “Have you seen any good/bad presentations yet?”, “what do you think about ansii join syntax” (OK, last one is a bad suggestion). Most people will respond and those that do not are probably just very nervous – more nervous than you! – and almost no one will be like Mr Friendly above. And if they are like Mr Friendly, where there are a few hundred other people you can go and try the odd comment on to see if you get a response.

At the social events you can see dozens and dozens of people just at the side or wandering around, not speaking to anyone. If you are one of them, few people are likely to come up to you and start a conversation (I’ve tried approaching the odd lone person but I stopped when I got Seriously Stalked at one of the UKOUG conferences). But if you go talk to other people, most of us will respond. And if someone does respond – Don’t stalk them!!! – have a conversation and then, having found it is possible, go and try some other people. The next day, if you see the people who responded last night, go and have a small chat again. But Don’t stalk them!!!.

Finally, talk to the presenters. We are actually the easy targets and not the hard ones. Those of us who present tend to be attention seekers so we are happy for you to come up and chat. And if you pretend you liked our talks we will certainly warm to you, so it’s an easy opening. However, it’s not like we are pop-stars or TV celebrities, we are just average people and you can come and chat to us (actually, I feel the same about pop-stars and TV celebrities, I don’t get easily star-struck but I know a lot of people do, even over Oracle Names).

But Don’t stalk them!!!.

And if someone insists on joining you at a table that has a name above it – listen carefully when they introduce themselves…

Why is “Dave Unknown” Trying to Social Media With Me? November 21, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in Friday Philosophy, humour, off-topic.
Tags: , ,
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I know some people share my opinion on this and others totally disagree – but I fail to appreciate why people I have never met, spoken with or care about want to Social Media with me. If we have not met but there is a high probability we share unusual interests then OK, perhaps – but the fact that we both can spell Oracle or know what a gene is does not count as unusual shared interests. Maybe I am just too old to “get it” or just too grumpy to appreciate their efforts.

I’m not the biggest fan of Social Media but I don’t actively dislike it either. I mean, I’m blogging so that means I have some appreciation for it. I have a Twitter account and sometimes I Twit. But not a lot. I don’t have time or inclination to log on every day and see what people have seen that they think is funny/odd/outrageous/titillating on the web, which airport they are currently being bored in or what publication/talk/blog post of theirs they want to big up. Or what cereal they have just eaten {really? Some of you think this would interest anyone?} But occasionally I hang out there and swap twit twaddle and follow links and maybe even put up my own links to my fabulous blog utterings. But I don’t follow people I don’t in some way know or have a reason to be interested in {and I don’t include seeing them on TV as my being interested in them – I followed a couple of people on twitter early on that I thought would be interesting, based on their Popular Culture output. And very quickly decided I’d stand a better chance of continuing to like them if I was not being informed of all the dross that crossed their minds when they had not rehearsed their material}.

For me, the main Social Media thing that baffles and slightly annoys me is LinkedIn Wannabes. Why are you contacting me if I don’t know you and you don’t know me? I don’t know 7.039 billion people. OK, you know some Oracle – so do probably 0.7039 million people (wow, what a worrying thought) that I also don’t know. It’s not personal that I have no interest in being LinkedIn with you, it’s the opposite. I impersonally don’t feel a need to link with you.

Do I want to link in with Dave in Denver CO, USA who is a Java developer? I’ve nothing against you, Dave, but I’m highly unlikely to meet you and we probably have little to talk about, especially as I almost never communicate with people via LinkedIn {and I don’t know anyone who does really communicate via LinkedIn}. I struggle to keep up with people I have met in the flesh or I absolutely know I have shared interests with, so random LinkedIn Wannabes, no chance. If I met you in person I’d probably like to have a chat and I might even buy you a beer, and perhaps we would become friends and I’d welcome your LinkedIn invite with open keyboard. But frankly, until you’re drinking that Carlsberg I just got from the bar for you, you are one in 7.039 billion unknown people to me.

So am I being unfriendly? Well, when I get a LinkedIn request I almost always check out the person. Is it someone I have worked with or met at a conference and it might be nice to maintain some sort of vague contact with? Occasionally it is. Once it a blue moon it turns out to be someone I actually know (or know of) quite well and I feel daft that I did not recognise them. Sometimes it is someone I don’t know but they know 15 people I do (hopefully mostly the ones I like  :-) ) and I can see they share strong work interests with me.  I link in. But most of the time I don’t know them and *they have over 500 contacts*. 

Over 500 contacts? Really? Really? And you know all these people? No, you don’t Dave. You are just collecting stamps. I’m as important to you as that. So now, though I know nothing much about you, I know I am unimportant to you, I’m just a stamp. I definitely do NOT want to be LinkedIn with you.

Occasionally it is worse. I’m not a stamp, I’m a little bit of potential collateral, a maybe-bit-of-income for them. The person is a recruitment consultant or a salesperson or a company representative who has figured out that for every 200 hundred people they bother they get a lead. So they contact thousands of us. Well, you can really stuff your invite up where the sun does not shine.

But most of the time it is stamp collecting. This seems very common with our South Asian friends. I don’t know why, maybe it is a cultural thing, maybe the universities there tell their students that this is a good way to progress (I can’t see that it is but I’m happy to be corrected if I am wrong), I don’t know – but 75% of LinkedIn invites I get from people with 500+ contacts are from that part of the world.

I’ve noticed one key thing about LinkedIn stamp collecting (or potential-collateral) invites – none of them have bothered to change the standard invite text.

Hi M

I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinedIn

– Dave Unknown

Hint – if you really want to link with me, change the text to something, anything and I mean *anything* else. Try

Oi, Martin

I’ve met you and you smell of fish and your jokes are pathetic. Link in to me else I will throw things at you next time you present

– Dave Unknown

That’ll get my attention.

What kicked of this diatribe by me? It was when we got the below at work:linkedin_who

 

It really tickled me. This person is so desperately stamp collecting that they are trying to link to Admin in Technical Services. Of course I removed names to protect the guilty but, really, Ramzan “the import/export professional” – I think you should take a bit more care in your stamp collecting efforts.

Conference Organisation from the Inside – UKOUG Tech14 November 20, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in conference, Meeting notes, Presenting, UKOUG.
Tags: , , ,
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An interesting experience I have had this year is being more involved in helping organise the annual UKOUG Oracle Technical Conference – Tech14. I fully intended to blog about things as we progressed, but it never happened got going so I did not.. But I thought it would be interesting to do a couple of blogs about it now, for anyone interested, as the conference itself approaches.

If you have never helped organise a conference or user group meeting then you probably think there is not a lot of work involved. You would be quite wrong. If you have been a volunteer at one, as in you have presented or chaired sessions, then you will have more understanding – but still probably fall short of the mark in estimating the effort involved. There is a lot involved.

The UKOUG is, I think, the largest Oracle User Group in the world and the annual conference has grown significantly since I first got involved around the turn of the millennium {which is now quite a while back – yes, we are all getting quite old}. In fact, it is now a set of conferences and events dedicated to Oracle E-Business suite, JD Edwards, PeopleSoft, Hyperion and regional conferences for Ireland and Scotland (sorry Wales) as well as the annual technical event that used to be the single conference. This year Tech14 is in the same location as Apps14, which covers most of the application areas I just mentioned. I rather like the fact we are returning to being in the same place but still have two events as it matches the reality of the two groups. There is a lot of cross-over between apps and tech for some of us whereas for many, you belong in one camp or the other. It’s a bit like do you like football or rugby…

So where did I fit into the picture? Each year the UKOUG approach some of it’s volunteers and asks them if they would mind giving them a little bit of help with the conference that year. Any that do not run away quickly are corralled into a room at head office in Wimbledon and bribed them with tea, coffee and biscuits. We are arranged into being the content committees for various areas. I was part of the committee for the Database stream and ended up being the Chair. This does not make me any more significant, it just means if someone has to make a decision when the committee is split or they just want a quick answer to a question (such as “can Dave swap his presentation slot with Senthil’s”), then it will be me the office contacts. OK, I suppose it means I have a little more input but as everything is open, others on the database committee (or others) can cry foul.

There are also committees for Middleware, Development, OS & Engineered systems, Business analytics… I am sure I have forgotten one! In many ways the Database stream is easiest as I do not think it has as broad a remit as, for example, development, and the core database is the core database. But we also have the largest community and thus the largest number of papers put forward and streams to organise.

So What do the committees do? Our responsibility is primarily to agree on the technical content of our steams. ie What presentations go into it, the order of them, plan any threads or themes to run through a day or several days and ensure that at any given time there are talks, roundtables and workshops across a spectrum of topics and not 4 all on backups or ADF. Sounds easy? No, it’s not. I’ll go into why in a later post.

We also help with decisions about wider issues for the conference – when the keynotes occur, who to ask to do the keynotes, the evening events and some wider issues like that. However, the actual location and timing of the event is set in stone before we get involved – it has to be as those major decisions have to be made over a year in advance. Personally, I think the venue at The Liverpool ACC is a good one. I can understand some people feeling Liverpool is a bit far to go but in reality it only takes an hour or two longer to get there than to what was the traditional home of the conference in Birmingham. And frankly, I was tired of Birmingham and the usual pub I ended up in was getting truly ratty and unpleasant. The ACC is at Albert Doc and a lot of bars, restaurants and ,I suspect, nightclubs (for those who like loud music and terrible lager at a premium price) are in the area.

Most of the work planning the actual conference is of course done by the office staff and I know that for smaller user groups all the work is done by volunteers – I’ve done a couple of myself too – so some of you might think we volunteers for the UKOUG conference have it a bit easy. But the conference is massive and we do {most of us} have proper jobs to do too. So if something is not as you would like at the UKOUG conference, or in fact at any conference, it is probably not through lack of effort. Just let us know {nicely, please} and we will try and not make the same mistake next time.

Audio semi-Visual Presentation on Clustering Data in Oracle November 12, 2014

Posted by mwidlake in performance, Presenting, SQL.
Tags: , , ,
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I suppose it had to happen eventually but one of my presentations has ended up on YouTube. It’s a recent presentation I did for the Oracle Midlands user group in September.

The topic is (as the title of this blog post hints at!)Boosting select performance by clustering data. The video consists of the slides I presented, changing as the presentation progresses, with my audio over the top. It goes on for a bit, close to an hour, but you could watch a section and then go and do something else before watching a bit more.

I have to say, it is very odd hearing my voice (and the slight touch of the “brummie” {Birmingham} accent coming through) and I do wince at the places where I blather or say something slightly wrong or make a joke that involved a visual element that is lost. Oh well, at least you don’t see me wandering around and jumping up,literally, to point out bits on the slides.

I’m glad to say I will be repeating a slightly more polished version of the presentation at this year’s UKOUG Tech14 conference in December. I was a bit under the weather back on September the 16th, due to having just returned to the Working Life, and with this perfect example of what I did then I should be able to make the next shot at it a cracker… maybe.

On the topic of Oracle Midlands, I like this user group that is run by Mike Mckay Dirden, the meetings consist of evening presentations in Birmingham with a bit of support from Redgate. This includes half-time samosas to keep you going. The next meeting is described here and is on Tuesday 25th November. This meeting has two presentations by my friend Bjoern Rost, who is an Oracle Ace Director {gasps of appreciation from the audience} and a consummate presenter. I wish I could make it there as I would like to share a pint with Bjoern (well, he’ll have wine or a cocktail I suspect as he is not a beer fan) as well as some of my other friends up that part of the country.

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